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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please guide me on how to divorce

5 replies

Ksbegckah · 10/06/2021 07:59

Morning. Husband and I are separating. He is still in the marital home at the moment but will be leaving shortly to rented accommodation.
I don't work as I have been a sahm for a long time, we don't claim any benefits.

I have no clue where to start with it all and don't have any family /friends to advise. I don't have any money of my own so how do I pay for solicitors fees etc?

What order do I need to do things in? I'm not bothered about getting a divorce at the moment. That can come later. So it's the house, finances and the children to sort. Can that be done without a divorce? Or do we need to do it all at the same time?

If we come up with our own agreement not involving solicitors or courts is that just a spoken agreement by us or does it need to be documented?

What kind of financial support should I expect from my husband? He earns 50k we have 2 children. Own our home.

Do I wait until he leaves and then apply for unibersal credit? I won't be able to pay my bills or even buy food? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Ksbegckah · 10/06/2021 08:16

Oh obviously I know I need to go back to work but there will be a gap where I'm not working and will have no money

OP posts:
Wh1z0faday8 · 10/06/2021 10:08

If you are in UK you need to claim child maintenance via CSA\CMS so that the money is deducted from his wages, I believe it costs £20 to set this up. Or he needs to pay voluntarily, think it is 20% of his wage.

You need to claim the child benefit in your name, because this also pays your National Insurance stamp for a certain amount of time if you have children, but not working. This goes towards your state pension & other benefits.

How are you going to pay the bills & mortgage?
Put in a claim for universal credit via www.gov.uk

Are you going to sell the marital home ?

Also look on www.gov.uk fir info about divorce

Hopefully other people will have some more advice for you

R0SEMARY · 10/06/2021 11:12

Are you sure you want to leave ? How did you manage to get rented accommodation with no savings, income or references ?

Are you and the children safe where you are ? How old are they? If you are safe then I advise you to stay where you are and get expert advice before you do anything.

If you are not safe then please contact Womens Aid today.

Purplewithred · 10/06/2021 11:22

You can just separate for now (we didn't divorce for about 6 years) but you do need to be sure your separation agreement is fair and I'd recommend getting it agreed legally. Think assets and income: you're likely to end up with something like 50% of your marital assets (house equity, savings, pensions, regardless of whose name they are in). Income CMS as above www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance + universal credit/salary.

However amicable your separation there will likely be disagreement at some stage so I'd recommend trying to keep things businesslike.

Ksbegckah · 10/06/2021 15:44

@R0SEMARY I am not leaving. I will stay in the marital home

OP posts:
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