Just want to go somewhere nice

[saywhaatnow]

I've been dating a guy during the winter lockdown til now.
We haven't been inside a 'proper' restaurant yet apart from once (I paid for both of us as it was his birthday over 6 months ago).
We've eaten takeaways and outside pub meals together and hosted each other etc during lockdown.

I've suggested him to book somewhere nice to take me out (it's his turn) and he's booked somewhere I wouldn't consider a 'date' restaurant, more like a place to grab something cheap before a night out with mates.

Am I being a snob? I don't like stuck up places but I appreciate my surroundings and the atmosphere of places when I eat.
Plus it's summer and he's picked somewhere dark and dingy, not taking advantage of the amazing light evenings.
I'm not tight and I'm wary of dating someone who is. I also want to go to nice places occasionally!

I reason I suggested we go out, and he treats me, is because I feel that I've been taken for granted and I was hoping to be wined and dined a bit more if we are now in a 'relationship' and actually go on proper 'dates' now.

I am than happy to pay my share, it's not just about money, I feel I make more effort with my appearance, to make my home nice/clean when he comes over etc etc.

To avoid drip feeding this but I think I've definitely spent more £ on him/us than he has, he earns more than me (better career) and he has fewer outgoings (unless he has a secret family I don't know about ) but I'm in a good place financially and happy with my lot in life. When I've dated wealthy guys naturally they pick up the tab more than me - but I'm more than happy to contribute my fair share too.

I don't think I'm high maintenance, but perhaps my bar is set differently from his, our backgrounds are different, do I just accept feeling like I'm down-dating because he doesn't seem to want to impress me a bit and treat me as special to him?

As I have said, this is more than just about money, but I'm wondering if it's all part of the same thing? He's good/generous in bed btw

@readingismycardio

So even if you were high maintenance, what? You have the right to set your bar as high as you want. He seems tight, tbh.

Tight and a bit thoughtless/not bothered.

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Oh, I hadn't realised she's posted about him before, Frog, but it's unsurprising to read this. He's not bothered. Why waste your time, OP, on someone who's showing you he's lazy? This is him on his best behaviour, OP.

The relationship's run its course.

No, no — she says it up the thread. (Or she says she makes more of an effort with her appearance and having her house clean and tidy when he visits, which I interpreted as more evidence of him not making an effort, so it’s not just the issue of restaurants.) I don’t know whether she’s posted about him before.

If your significant other doesn’t treat you then what’s the point in them?

I would treat because I wanted to, not due due to some unwritten expectation or duty, bollocks to that sort of attitude, I remember why I got divorced now.

I would treat because I wanted to, not due due to some unwritten expectation or duty, bollocks to that sort of attitude, I remember why I got divorced now.

Isn't that kind of the point - that you should want to treat the other person? If you don't, if you don't think to yourself, "oh it'd be lovely to do x with my person" or "I reckon that would make my person smile" doesn't that mean there's something a bit wrong there? I mean, op happily treated the bf and you kind of want it to go both ways.

@JustAnotherOldMan

If your significant other doesn’t treat you then what’s the point in them?

I would treat because I wanted to, not due due to some unwritten expectation or duty, bollocks to that sort of attitude, I remember why I got divorced now.

You literally just proved my point by saying that you treat people because you want to.

Her boyfriend doesn’t want to.

This is a new beau in the honeymoon period, he should want to or he is not bothered.