Did I say the right thing? OLD

[YoureTheTop]

Hi, can you help me please?
I was messaged by someone on POF and his profile was all about how his kids were his life and most of the photos were him and his kids.

I replied that the kids photos could be a safeguarding issue. He replied and I explained that obviously it's good that his DC are very important to him but maybe not put their photos up in case it attracted weirdos.

Did I do the right thing?
Thanks.

NC but a regular poster.

Really?

I think it’s a bit weird that you brought it up before you even met.
A bit weird but not your business.

None of your business I don’t like kids in old profiles but it’s not any one else’s business and he can make the decision for himself, plenty of men have their kids in their profile are you gonna message them all?

That was a bit weird tbh. Many, many people have no problem posting photos of their kids

He messaged me first. I looked at his profile and he looked ok but the kids were in nearly every photo, they were primary school age.

I wouldn't message everyone, and obviously his kids should be massively important to him, but I think they could be identifiable from his profile.

I would not put photos of my DC on my profile on a free dating site.

Neither would I but Loads do and that’s their decision

I'm with you on the sentiment, that would put me off of a person, that said you probably should have not told him that.

It wasn't any of my business but the alternative would have been to not reply. I replied out of concern not because I'm weird.

I agree with you op. I think it's so dumb when people plaster their kids photos all over their dating page

I think it's weird to put up pictures of your kids on a dating site, yes.

Fair enough to be open about having kids, but really not appropriate to put up pics. I think people tend to be a bit too free with their kids images generally - kids should have a right to privacy as well as adults.

You weren't wrong - I'm not sure I'd have said anything though.

You aren't wrong, but I would've have said anything.

I make it a point to never offer parenting advice to anyone who doesn't specifically ask for it. And certainly never to a stranger!

Tbh he probably would have preferred you not responding

I'm always absolutely shocked that women do this (I'm bi so I see both). Might as well put an advert up asking for predators

Less worried about men who are looking for women bit I still think you have a point

I agree with you. Not sure If have told him though, that's for a later conversation if you get on.

"My kids are my world" = Disney Dad who's not really got the headspace for a partner at the moment but needs a hand with the kids when he has them and expects you to be wowed by all that.

Or wants an occasional shag and if you want more it's "but I'm busy, work, kids etc and...my kids come 1st

His lack of safeguarding of safeguarding of his DC would put me off, so I'd either ignore or say the same as you OP.

It makes me cringe that people use photos with their kids as a pulling aid. I would have replied the same. I also would have said I'm not interested for that reason.

He looked quite nice and said he was new.
I don't think he was using them as a pulling aid but my initial thought was that it wasn't right.

I have to remind myself that men with cute dogs might not actually have a pet of their own.

I don't normally reply for example if someone is too short or too overweight.

‘My kids are my world’ puts me off anyone.