He hasn't asked about my kids

[givemesteel]

I have another question as a dating app novice.

I am having a conversation with a guy who I've been chatting to for a few days, I'm hoping might lead somewhere, we seem to like each other and have a fair bit in common. I know not to get my hopes up though, I'm trying not to.

Key question is that on my profile I make it clear I have kids and the subject of kids came up. He responded to my comment but he didn't ask for any elaboration - ie how many kids do I have or how old are my kids?

He doesn't have kids but on his profile says he wants them.

From your experience Mumsnetters does this mean he's probably not that interested in me seriously? Ie other than a casual thing? As surely if you were considering something more serious the number and ages of kids is important?

I am just wondering whether to just tell him and see if he runs a mile (there are 3 and they're a quite young)?

I dunno. If he asked about your children early on, wouldn't you find that a bit sus? I'm a bit on the fence here. Maybe he's waiting for you to mention them.

I'd ask him quite bluntly, though, how he really feels about children, given you have three young ones. No point wasting your own time.

On the fence too, he might not feel right bringing them up considering it’s only been a couple of days of talking

@SpindleWhorl

I dunno. If he asked about your children early on, wouldn't you find that a bit sus? I'm a bit on the fence here. Maybe he's waiting for you to mention them.

I'd ask him quite bluntly, though, how he really feels about children, given you have three young ones. No point wasting your own time.

I did used to find it odd if I was asked questions about my dc early on when OLD messaging. Maybe after meeting would be ok but not before.

He knows you have DC, and he’s kept talking to you so it obviously hasn’t put him off. They’re just not the most interesting thing about you! (Which is probably a bit of a curve ball if you’re a lone mum whose life is her kids, to try and see yourself as a person in your own right rather than just as a mum.) I don’t date men with DC but I wouldn’t ask somebody about their DC if I was e.g. making friends or at a hobby group chatting etc, because I want to know the person I’m talking to, not their children. It’s likely he’s just similar.

OK fair enough, maybe I'm jumping the gun. It's just I'd given him the opening to say, oh how old are your kids and he didn't.

I just don't know what the red flags are for someone just looking for a shag.

I wouldn't have minded if he'd asked me quite early on about the kids as it means we don't waste our time if the number / ages are a deal breaker.

Being very interested in my kids before we even met would be a massive red flag for me.

He is probably waiting to see if you like each other in person to ask those sorts of things. He is interested in you, not looking for step kids.

OK so it sounds like I'm being paranoid then!

Do you have kids ComtesseDeSpair ?

He probably doesn't mind or care much atm as he's not a father himself. Judge him more on the date if you get that far.