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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Euros widow! Anyone else?

18 replies

Lan2020 · 08/06/2021 09:46

Anyone elses partner already warned them they are watching every game of the Euros? He's shifted his work hours (and presumably our life) around for the duration of the Euros.
His home town is 40 mins from our house and down the road from the city where he would go out. He libed there for years with his dad after divorce, so still has a house there to stay in.
I don't mind him watching games or going out but I have said that with the weather getting better, I don't want to be looking after our toddler every weekend whilst he's out drunk. I've also said I don't mind him watching the games of he comes home. He used to stay at the other house because it's closer but this means pretty much 2 full days away as he stays overnight and is rubbish in the morning, so wouldn't be back until around 4pm the next day. Am I being unreasonable? I just think it eats into our whole weekend.
When the Euros were last on, he mostly got a train and came home, I dropped him off and collected him from.the station, which I don't mind. However, he has asked if he can stay away for one game as it's the only one a particular friend can get out to watch. It's on.a Sunday late afternoon, so he would stay overnight.

OP posts:
girl71 · 08/06/2021 14:27

Tbh OP, if he is a good loving partner and Dad to you and DC , usually doing family things , works hard etc and given it is only once every 4 yrs , i would let it go. Maybe arrange sometime/something nice for yourself with a friend, when they are over.

VeganVeal · 08/06/2021 14:37

One night away every 4 years and your getting cob on? Poor man

Lipz · 08/06/2021 14:43

Tbh I think him staying over is better. He can relax and drink as much as he likes, no worrying about coming home and not been much use to you.

Dh over the years went out, I just arranged something with my 5 kids and a friend or sisters. My kids are older now but I been a golf and football widow. It all works out in the end as he is a fab dad and I get to have lots of girly weekends.

romany4 · 08/06/2021 15:41

I'm the euro lover in my marriage.
Watch every match. My DH hates football...

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 08/06/2021 15:43

Pick your battles.

LarsErickssong · 08/06/2021 16:04

I probably see this from a different perspective as we both like the euros but for the sake of a couple of weeks every 4 years (well 2 assuming he likes the World Cup too) I don't really see the problem. It's also not like it's just come out of the blue as you have an idea of the time it will be even years in advance (just a heads up the World Cup is next December).

DazzlingHaze · 08/06/2021 16:43

The one night away for a particular game wouldn't bother me at all but I'd be a bit Hmm at him rearranging his work schedule etc to be able to see every game. If he wants to watch them that's fine but it shouldn't be disrupting your life. He can sit and watch a game of football without having to get drunk/make it a big social event. It's pretty ridiculous to me that an adult thinks it's fine to basically give up parenting duties every weekend so they can get pished and watch football.

ShutUpAlex · 08/06/2021 16:46

I don’t think I could be with someone who rearranged work around a football match. We’re massive formula 1 fans but we just record the race and watch it in the evening...

HoobleDooble · 08/06/2021 16:57

I hadn't heard any mention of it from my usually footie-mad DH. Then I closed the lounge door last night and there's a bloody wall chart stuck to the back of it! 😁

blissfulllife · 08/06/2021 17:35

@HoobleDooble same lol!.

Mines booked the first week off work and will sit in his pants eating crap and watching it at leisure. Probably meet up with his mate and stay over towards the end of the euros, and generally forget we exist lol. I'm laughing because it's ok with us (me and kids) because he works bloody hard, provides and cares for us. He bloody deserves to kick back and enjoy his favourite thing.

I love the World Cup and euros....always emptier at the shops so I save up and treat my girls to a couple of big shopping trips and a nice dinner.

FreezeMotherHubbard · 08/06/2021 19:27

@ShutUpAlex

I don’t think I could be with someone who rearranged work around a football match. We’re massive formula 1 fans but we just record the race and watch it in the evening...
But F1 races are at a weekend which would be time off work for a lot of people....
ShutUpAlex · 08/06/2021 19:47

@FreezeMotherHubbard not for chefs. Plus that besides the point. The point is that we don’t rearrange work over it. We record it and watch it later.

LarsErickssong · 08/06/2021 19:56

[quote ShutUpAlex]@FreezeMotherHubbard not for chefs. Plus that besides the point. The point is that we don’t rearrange work over it. We record it and watch it later.[/quote]
The difference to me is that F1 is a regular event for lots of weekends every year, the euros are 4 weeks every 4 years

SimonJT · 09/06/2021 06:18

I’m an euros widower, but hes a rugby widower pretty much every week of the year. I don’t like football, but I appreciate him enjoying it. He hasn’t altered work as he’s working from home so he can have it on in the background, his work have arranged meetings so they won’t clash with any matches.

AFingerofFudge · 09/06/2021 06:26

I'm the big footy fan in our house, along with one of the DC's. I can't rearrange my work shifts for it sadly, but if I could I would. I think if you and your DH are a team then you learn to let go of some things, and want the best for them which includes time "off" family stuff for things that they love. DH has certain hobbies here too which includes going away for occasional weekends over the years (obvs not at the minute) and although it was annoying when the DCs were young, he went because I wanted him to be happy.
If I was you I'd let him enjoy it, and then find something that you can have time away for too.

Sunflower1970 · 09/06/2021 06:43

I’m with him. After the shit time everybody has had he is probably looking forward to living his life, seeing friends and enjoying his football. The fact he’s asked if you mind suggests he is a decent bloke so I would just suck it up. It’ll be on every night in my house but I’ll leave him and son to it and read my book in the garden!

MiddleParking · 09/06/2021 06:52

I wouldn’t be at all bothered about one night away (assuming he would pick up the childcare for you to do the same when it suited you) but I would find a ‘pre warning’ that he was going to be watching every game of the Euros, and him rearranging his work schedule for it, a bit cringey. And we’re both big football fans year-round. And yes, I wouldn’t be having him tell me that I had to look after a toddler on my own for several consecutive weekends while he got drunk. That’s a big ask and he should be asking graciously, not telling.

AgainstTheCurrent · 09/06/2021 09:59

Yep me too, not just DH but DSS also.

It isn't even every 4 years really because its the champions League, Prem, Euros, world cup qualifier, euros qualifier the list goes on and on.

TBF I tolerate most of it, I love reading so often read so I can just switch off but if I am honest, I wish mine would bugger off overnight to watch it so I could have a bit of peace, that said I don't have a little one to look after.

I have been warned though and so have the adult kids that there is a match at 2 this Sunday so we will have to have dinner before or after Hmm

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