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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he interested in me or not?

10 replies

Sarz1991 · 08/06/2021 06:51

So long story short, I'm 2 months out of a long term relationship that I ended, and I have been on tinder with a month, and finally went on a date with a guy (he messaged me first)that I had been messaging consistently everyday for a few days ,then he asked me out after 3 days - the date went quite well, obviously I was nervous at first, he definitely was too, we ended up walking for almost 3 hours, and towards the very end he asked me did I want a tea or coffee but the coffee place was closed so when I got to my car, he said it was nice to meet me and that he will be in contact, which he did, he messaged me that night asking me how I was after the walk, plenty of smiley emoji, it was late though so he didn't reply to one of my messages but he did last night at 7pm (just the next day) saying sorry that he dozed off and asking me how my day was etc but I did start to question things after him only taking 20 mins to reply in between texts to taking almost an hour for the last 2 texts, AND no mention of a 2nd date even though he asked me first if I had any plans, I stupidly sort of said I would be meeting with my friends and going for walks but as advised by my room mate I just left it at that and didn't ask him a question, ok he did reply but no question either and then the last reply I said to him was any plans for the week and he responded "No not really. I'd be wrecked most days coming home from work. I better do my own shopping tomorrow or I'll be tired and starving 😁" so tbh I don't really know what to make of it because I had high hopes after he bothered at all to text me after our first day and he text yesterday too first even if it was at 7pm, oh mention he enjoyed the date too but after I said ot first so maybe that's not a great sign but he is all questions about me when he has been texting, do you think that he maybe thought I wasn't that interested , is he waiting for me to initiate a second date, should I respond to his text or should I not and see if he messages me?

OP posts:
CovidVaccinatorintheMaking · 08/06/2021 06:54

You are massively over thinking this. Dating is a two way street. It’s ok for women to ask men out. Don’t skirt around, ask him out again if you like him

FatCatThinCat · 08/06/2021 06:56

If you want a second date just ask him. Don't be playing games.

wildeverose · 08/06/2021 06:57

You're over thinking to the extreme - you've compared how long it takes him to answer messages Hmm he also has a life and is going to be busy now and then - if you want to meet again - ask.
Life is too short for silly games

something2say · 08/06/2021 06:59

Far too much analysis. You'll scare him off love.

jannyapple · 08/06/2021 07:02

I agree ... sometimes I can answer a text in 5 secs
Other times I'm working/ cooking/ eating/ cleaning/ showering/ charging phone / it's in my bag / didn't hear it/
It's called living
Just send a message saying hey let's chat tonight and arrange another date if you fancy it , give me a call when we've both sat down .. see what he does

Livingintheclouds · 08/06/2021 07:03

Wowsa you need to take a step back. My husband took two weeks before getting in touch for a second date (and asked me to marry him four weeks later, so not exactly slow to express his feelings). He was just busy- away for work, had hos kids over for a weekend etc.
He has said he enjoyed the date, he has been in touch regularly. He has also said he will be tired after work. You, on the other hand, told him you were seeing friends yet are counting the minutes between responses! Give him a break. And if you want to meet up just suggest it! If he says he is too busy but will give you a call another time but os rather vague, then no, he may like you too, but he's not that into you. But relax and don't invest so much so early on.

Jigglywobbly · 08/06/2021 09:36

Don’t ask him for a second date! Just chill out , keep busy this week and he’ll start to miss you and want to meet. You’re being too intense and he can probably tell you’re into him massively. In these early days, if you want to know how he feels step back and wait.

Stockholmvillage · 08/06/2021 12:30

I disagree with the whole over thinking. Always, always trust your gut because I think your gut is telling you he's not as bothered as he was initially.
I would also say if he's not asking for a second date he's not interested.
Men are simple

AryaStarkWolf · 08/06/2021 12:42

If he's still messaging you then he's probably interested, just ask him if he wants to meet up again sometime!

Jigglywobbly · 08/06/2021 13:19

A guy will ask you out if they’re interested, you shouldn’t have to do it.

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