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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Terrible relationship with my Mother

17 replies

hippyracer · 19/11/2007 21:08

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sdr · 19/11/2007 21:14

Sad to hear, similar with my dad. Even threatened to commit suicide if I wasn't nice to him. He is now thankfully on antidepressants, which has eased the worse. What do rest of your family think or do they say just you with problem? If she won't admit problem and get help then not much you can do. I've walked away and just contact him when I'm feeling able to deal with how he his. Sometimes he's fine, other times bizarre or hurtful. Is she on email - less emotional way of communicating. It's not your fault and it is hard to let go and stop trying to fix the relationship. You need to look forward and be with people who make you smile.

hippyracer · 19/11/2007 21:47

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Sakura · 20/11/2007 00:01

Hi,
On the long thread (my mother has cut me out of her life) almost everyones starts on there by thinking their mother is not as bad as that. Then as we discuss their behaviour and the hurtful things they do, like the things your mother does, weVe found that they have personality disorders, alcoholism and a range of other problems that we cant help them overcome unless they want to.

Your mother sounds pretty bad and is definitely a "toxic parent". There are plenty of books on the subject. Its up to you how much you can stand but I guarantee the stress will be affecting your life by now. after having dd, the decision was final for me- I couldn`t allow an influence like my mother's to pervade my life.
It was the hardest thing I've evervdone though

LadyOfWaffle · 20/11/2007 00:06

Wow, sounds so much like my mum! Infact she went totally ballistic at me tonight because her and the builder turned up yesterday to drop off some coving and I was in the shower and missed them, and I really do mean ballistic. I tend to just let it wash over me now, if I worried about everything she said I would be even more stressed out than I am now. That's the only advice I have, because it's all I really can do. I have approached her about it, but she suddenly flips out anyway. My sister shouts ands screams right back, ignores her etc. but I do see sometimes it hurts her, so I just take it.

wineaholic · 20/11/2007 13:43

Hi Hippy,

I've name changed for this. First of all its not your fault,your mum was an adult before you, she should have tried harder at being a better parent. You weren't a horrible child, as you say she has no social skills so she was probably quite inadequate in dealing with kids' behaviour and its easier for her to blame you than look inwards.

She sounds very similar to my mum, and like your dad mine also stood in the background and didn't say anything to stop her. My mum has been shrieky and verbally abusive since I can remember, and even physically violent with me until my mid twenties. I used to always blame myself, and sometimes still find myself doing so.

She had me very young (19) and acts in a very immature manner even in her mid fifties. I don't think she really wanted to be a mother, and she has no maternal qualities. I wish I had a mother I could phone every day and have a normal conversation with, but there is always a frosty and critical undercurrent when I speak to her, she makes it quite obvious I am a hindrance to her in some way. Though she is very close to my sister, who is also very aggressive in her behaviour. She rarely asks after my ds which I find very hurtful.

She would, still does, go months without speaking to me for no apparent reason, during which time I would vow to cut her out of my life, then she would phone me out of the blue as though nothing happened. Then, if I refused to do something she would scream and shout. If I try to challenge her behaviour - for e.g. when she phoned to tell me she was going to start a fight with my v nice aunt at my wedding - she weeps and wails and gets my dad to to give me into trouble and tells everyone what a horrible daughter I am.

It is only recently, since I've had dc of my own, I've been able to start saying "no" to her as I've been frightened of her for so long - and I'm 34 with a highly responsible job!

She hasn't spoken to her own sister for years after falling out with her over a trivial matter and has divided both me and my sister too - she didn't even tell me my sister got married recently! When I plucked up the courage to ask why she just started screaming at me, saying "no one loves me", and blaming me. I am now convinced she has a personality disorder.

While pg with ds I bumped in to my mum's business partner. They've always been best friends, or so I thought, but on conversation about babies she told me she was distancing herself from my mum socially and hadn't approved of her parenting techniques.

I was stunned, because up til then I thought it was my fault, there was something about me that made her behave like this. I realised this possibly wasn't the case and have started to become a bit more assertive and limit how often I see her, and on my terms.

Anyway, sorry this is so long, I've never really spoken about this before - should probably have posted on "toxic parents" thread! but just wanted you to know I know how you feel. Maybe try and keep your distance and accept she won't change.

ally90 · 23/11/2007 14:17

Yes you should all be on the 'my mother cut me out of her life long sorry' thread! Get over there now! We all have the 'my mum's/dad's not all that bad' syndrome. If you feel wronged by your family, there is generally a reason for that. Because if they were loving and accepting of you, as a good enough mother/father/family should be, you would not be on here, because you would be talking to her/him/them about how you feel about their behaviour. But you know as well as I do that if you did say anything...well it just would not be worth the bucketful of pain you would get back...

Now go on onto the 'my mother cut me out of her life long sorry' thread

ally90 · 23/11/2007 14:25

This may help too if you scroll down the page you will come to a series of 9 links to the different types of personality disorders. My mother is a high functioning (read that as can function well enough in society not to be taken away in a white coat) borderline personality/narcissistic personality, my sister all narcissistic. Obviously undiagnosed but none the less both seem to be in alot of emotional pain which they use to make people close to them suffer. Sad for them, sad for us. But still no excuse for their behaviour, just a reason for it. And a reason for me and my dd to stay clear of them. Its their choice to change. You can lead a horse to water, you cannot make it drink.

hippyracer · 23/11/2007 16:44

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ally90 · 24/11/2007 14:37

Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Its not your fault.
Her behaviour towards you does not make you a bad person. It says much more about her that she cannot love her dd. You have done nothing wrong. Noone deserves the treatment she has given you, noone. Would you treat your children like she treated you? Your worst enemey?

She, like you said originally has problems and you are her whipping boy. You know at some place within yourself this is not right and okay. So listen to that part of yourself. You are no longer physically dependant upon her. You can survive without her. Start standing up to her, she won't like it and may even walk away. But you must not allow her to keep bringing you down like this.

Now stop denying her behaviour is that bad and its all your fault and go post on the other thread, I'll pop on and say hello and so will others.

xxx

Moorhen · 24/11/2007 15:26

My poor mum has a similar problem with her mother - who's now 90 and still just as bitter, twisted and horrible as she ever was. It's only in the past year or so that my mum has been able to tell her to get stuffed when she's being really horrible, because she's spent her life being intimidated and put down.

She wishes she'd started standing up for herself years ago. I wish I'd stood up for her, too.

You deserve better. You have a perfect right to insist on better treatment or walk away with a clear conscience.

Sympathy

citylover · 24/11/2007 16:46

Wow! - this is the second thread this week which has given me a lightbulb moment! Thanks mumsnet.

I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother (am now in my 40s). She has always been really highly critical of me and everything I have done in my life, put me down and I sensed negativity from her to me from a very early age.

This contrasts with the way she treats my brother. He can see this and also thinks that she is highly critical too. My dad is less so but quite a weak person and so does not stand up to her.

I have always thought at the back of my mind that I was at fault but I was telling a friend last weekend that she has never said I look nice ever.

This weekend she has been up with my dad for a couple of days to look after the DCs, which I do appreciate but know that the price I pay for this is constant criticism and am left feeling low.

Today for the first time I actually said to her 'stop constantly criticising me!'. My dad said nothing. I try to keep contact to a minimum and decided in my mid thirties after alot of angst that we just couldn't go there with any more analysis and probing to try to make things right just accept it and minimise contact. But I am envious of people with close mother and daughter relationships.

She also makes quite alot of digs about my weight (but did this even when I weighed a normal weight) and seems narked that I have come to terms with my body. (see other threads). She herself has always struggled with weight.

The thing is I am starting to realise that maybe I also married someone like her (my ex H is highly critical too) and the real ephiphany is that I am starting to realise that people who do this are probably really unhappy with themselves. Now that shouldn't really be a revelation should it but it's like my blinkers are now off.

Your mum sounds horrendous and I wish you luck in how you decide to deal with it.

ally90 · 24/11/2007 17:20

Citylover, like attracts like. Chances are if you have been abused, you will find other people who have been abused attractive too. We go for people whose behaviour is comfortable and 'normal' for us. And that means people who treat us like our fathers/mothers/siblings have. We also pick friends like this too. Just think about friends you have had in the past compared to the one's you have now. You do seem to have moved on and I bet you now have a better circle of friends than before.

How are you doing Hippy?

citylover · 24/11/2007 18:57

Thanks A90 - just to clarify I was telling a friend that it was my mother who has never said I looked nice. On the whole I have a great bunch of long time supportive female friends in RL. Different history with men though!

I just can't believe that it has taken so long to get the clarity about the relationship with my mother - still I will no longer put up with the constant criticism and have glad I finally said something specific. I have by no means been a shrinking violet over the years but have not raised it in such a specific way.

Off to look the other thread suggested. Hope that all of this has helped, Hippy.

smithfield · 26/11/2007 13:27

Hi Citylover- just wanted to say I empathise with you completely. Your mum sounds a lot like mine. She is highly critical and 'NEVER@ wrong, to the extreme that (and this may give you a chuckle)-She took a can of 7up out of the fridge and DH said ' Oh I didnt know you drank 7up'...'What do you mean?' (raised voice) ''What 'are' you talking about I dont drink 7up!' (in atone as if to say imbecile). About half an hour later my mother is eating her take-away and slurping on her can of drink and suddenly yells.... 'Oh my god I'm drinking 7up' erm yep thats what dh had said. See never wrong!

On a more serious note- this baehaviour is very damaging. Think as a result of her varying her actions of either constantly undermining me, trying to control me or having no real time for me, I have ended up with depression, mad bad relationship and friendship choices and felt generally very bad about myself (think I must be unloveable etc). I know you must have felt these things to.

Hope to see you on the other thread, which ally mwntioned...I have just joined too. Hope we can hold hands and get through this and find a way of limiting the effect thier unacceptable behaviour has on us once and for all!

smithfield · 26/11/2007 13:29
  • sorry that's made bad relationship and friendship choices- (had mum here for the weekend...se the effect
hippyracer · 26/11/2007 15:37

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smithfield · 26/11/2007 16:37

Hippyracer- my mum has selective memory too. And she too is very jelous of mil. That's cos mil is close by and does a lot to help out with childcare. She can be very manipulative and even offered to pay for DS to go to nursery (instead of mil's), normally she 'never' offers financial help for 'anything'...and trust me she is a wealthy woman (did well in the divorce).

Then she plays with my mind saying mil will have more control over ds than me cos she spends more time with him. I wouldnt mind but when we lived near my mum she wouldnt commit to helping out ith any childcare, and doesnt help out for my brother at all.

Dont blame yourself or feel guilty- she has issues herself and shouldnt inflict them on you. Think your wise to start limiting time with her again.

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