Give me words of encouragement please!

[Glitterb]

This could be a long story so sorry!

Basically my 3 year relationship is over, I am not massively sure what happened or where it went wrong but it’s over. In reality it’s been over for months so I am a pushover and have tried to make it work making myself look/like a fool. I have been treated badly in relationships before and now this one is going the same way and I am so mad with myself!

When we first met, things were brilliant and I could have seen him as being ‘the one’
He admitted early on that he suffers from depression and ‘down his periods’ but he was going to see a therapist. I understood and respected him for being honest, within a few months he had stopped seeing the therapist and I tried not too push too much.

Unfortunately last year I lost a very close family member and struggled to cope with lockdown etc, he was supportive but cracks showed in our relationship. We have not been the same since.

Fast forward to now, we see each other once every 2/3 weeks (we both live alone 15 mins from each other for context) he has no time for me but claims he still wants to be with me constantly.
I have had enough! I had another sleepless night last night worrying about the whole thing so enough is enough. I messaged him this morning and he just said ‘his head was all over the place at the moment’ I understand this but he is doing absolutely nothing about it.

So today is the day I need to end it, I mentally cannot cope with what he is doing too me. We have no mutual friends/kids or houses together so it should be easy too walk away and not see each other again.
Tell me to get my big girl pants on and end this once and for all...please also tell me everything will be okay for this 33 year old pathetic mess!

You are not a pathetic mess. Actually, quite the opposite - you recognise that your relationship is not working and are going to take positive steps to end it. Not the actions of a pathetic mess, and I really respect you for doing this.

You’ve made up your mind, so present your decision to him as a done deal - no discussions or second chances. It’s simply not good enough for him to say his head is all over the place - maybe it is but it doesn’t excuse his treatment of you. You deserve so much better.

So rip off the plaster and get it done today - you’ll feel much better afterwards! Then block him and move on with your life. Good luck and let us know how it goes 💐

@Treetops73 thank you, I needed that!

I actually texted him earlier and asked to pop round, he made up an excuse and I haven’t heard from him since which is unusual. I don’t want to do it over text either. He also knows I’m really upset about the whole thing as I’ve been honest the whole way through.
I deleted his number so I can’t continuously text etc and the ball will be in his court, if he chooses to ghost me then that’s his choice really. If I treated him this way then I’m sure he wouldn’t think it was okay.

He probably made the excuse to not come over as he knew you would want to talk about things or even knew that you’d end it. Well done for deleting his number… but don’t be surprised if he comes crawling back at some point. You don’t need him and his lack of emotional intelligence. Onwards and upwards! 💪🏼

@Treetops73 I honestly don’t think I will hear from him again, that’s why I deleted his number as it will be like an itch I need to scratch. I’m upset that he thinks I deserve this after 2.5 years.

However I’ve allowed myself to mope about today but tomorrow is a new day!

You do deserve much more @Glitterb. It’s upsetting to be treated like this after 2.5 years, and you’ve every right to have spent today reflecting on it and feeling sad. I hope you’ve looked after yourself.

As you say, tomorrow is another day. You deserve so much more than this man, and I hope that if you choose to date again you find someone kinder and more worthy of your love.