Obsessed over his ex wife

[crajel]

Been married a year. Everything good. He split with his ex years ago. Her choice . She's with someone else since then .

I can't get my head around the fact he loved her and always think he loved her more than he loves me. And that he'd love to go back with her if the chance arose.No real reason to think this .

I've googled retroactive jealousy but nothing I read helps . I know it stems from my own insecurities and nothing to do with what my DH is doing or saying , but it's ruining my marriage .

Please talk sense to me. Will these feelings eventually go away or do I need help ?

Thanks

I'd try looking at it differently. Even IF he did still love her, he loves you too. And you love him. And you have an actual relationship.

People can love more than one person. Hell, some people get into poly relationships. But just because they love someone else, it doesn't diminish their love for you.

Is it really such a big deal in the grand sceme if things if there are feelings still there? It's not like he is acting on them. Or telling you about her 24/7.

Hearts are complex things so who knows.

But fairytale love is a load of disney bs anyway. What matters is whether or not someone cares for you, treats you right and has your back. And vice versa. Everything else is irrelevant. You dont ever have monopoly over another persons heart.

Marriage is a big step and I’m sure he wouldn’t have taken it if he was still hung up on her. Have you ever discussed this with him? It might reassure you