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Original poster

I had sex with my ex

17 replies

liegendes · 05/06/2021 22:54

First post here but I've been lurking for a while.

Me and my ex split up last year, whilst I was pregnant as we constantly argued over silly things. We decided to be friends and I gave birth almost 6 months ago. He's a good dad to our baby and we have a good co parenting relationship.

Tonight my mum is looking after DS and me and my ex met up and we were talking. We then went back to his and he had a few drinks (I didn't) so he was tipsy but not fully drunk. He then kissed me and we had sex (it was consensual and he told me to tell him to stop if I felt uncomfortable).

I'm now home and I'm abit WTF. I do still love him but I'm not sure if he'd class it as a mistake! I will message him tomorrow but I'm just unsure what to think and I don't know what I want from this post I'm just getting my thoughts down.

OP posts:
Original poster
liegendes · 05/06/2021 23:28

Anyone?

OP posts:
Guavafish · 05/06/2021 23:35

What do you want from the relationship?

MyOtherProfile · 05/06/2021 23:36

You need to decide if you want it to be anything more than a one off mistake. Then you need to check he feels the same really. But be prepared for him to say he would be up for a Fwb arrangement.

nimbuscloud · 05/06/2021 23:37

Are either of you in a current relationship?
Did you use contraception?

ColaOlaLa · 05/06/2021 23:46

Be careful not to fall into the “you have his baby so he still sleeps with you but isn’t in a relationship” whilst seeing others, sorry but I have a feeling that that’s what will happen. You obviously broke up for a reason so be careful he isn’t using you for now until something better comes along because you are busy with your baby so probably not looking to meet anyone right now which he will know. Ps I hope you used contraception!

Original poster
liegendes · 05/06/2021 23:57

No. Neither of us are in a relationship. We did use contraception.

I don't know what I want but I don't think it was a mistake. I do still love him and he has changed now and is nice and he's a good dad to son.

OP posts:
RhubarbCustardy · 05/06/2021 23:57

Don't get back together just because you have a child together whatever you do. Regard it as a one off until you're sure what you want to do. You split for a reason and of course when you're not living together then things are easier.

ColaOlaLa · 06/06/2021 00:02

Things will be easier as you are no longer together, would he move back in if you got back together? Also you don’t know that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else, just saying.

thenewduchessofhastings · 06/06/2021 00:05

@liegendes

Sometimes people sleep with an ex.You won't be the last person who does it.If you don't want it to mean anything then it doesn't have to;chalk it up to experience but if you want it to maybe lead to something else then you need to be brave and have that conversation with your ex.

Guavafish · 06/06/2021 00:25

You need to know what first. why did you broke up?

I won’t pursue anything until you really know what you want. So take your time and don’t rush into a discussion. Most people don’t change.

Good luck

Original poster
liegendes · 06/06/2021 00:29

@ColaOlaLa

Things will be easier as you are no longer together, would he move back in if you got back together? Also you don’t know that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else, just saying.
No, he wouldn't move in straight away.

That's true, but I don't think he'd be sleeping with different people at the same time

OP posts:
Original poster
liegendes · 06/06/2021 08:25

@Guavafish

You need to know what first. why did you broke up?

I won’t pursue anything until you really know what you want. So take your time and don’t rush into a discussion. Most people don’t change.

Good luck

We broke up before because we constantly argued and we both agreed we’d be better off as friends
OP posts:
WobblyMelon · 06/06/2021 08:34

So what will have changed with the arguing? have you both changed or is anything different now? Otherwise it will be a repeat of the relationship you left

Lovelydiscusfish · 06/06/2021 08:36

If he says he is happy it happened and that he still has feelings for you, I would take it from the beginning. Sounds like your mum is happy to babysit sometimes, so date him - see how that goes. Take it slowly, but it does work out for some couples....

To find out how he feels, unfortunately you have two choices. Either play a long torturous waiting game in which you try to guess this based on his thoughts and actions. Or ask him. Nothing to feel humiliated about in asking. You have a baby together. You just had sex together. It’s utterly fine to ask him how he feels.

I would probably send a text saying - “Thanks for last night - it was lovely. How are you feeling today?” and go from there.....

Original poster
liegendes · 06/06/2021 15:00

@WobblyMelon

So what will have changed with the arguing? have you both changed or is anything different now? Otherwise it will be a repeat of the relationship you left
Yes we've both changed and we have a good co parenting relationship so if we got back together itd probably be the same
OP posts:
WobblyMelon · 06/06/2021 15:57

Well that’s promising then, have you heard from him today?

Tal45 · 06/06/2021 16:12

It sounds like he might have grown up a bit now he's a dad. I'd text him and say you enjoyed last night and ask where his head is at. x

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