Dreading birthday, no one ever remembers apart from my mum, dad and dp

[Workinghardeveryday]

It’s that time again and it’s soon. I dread it every year, soon as June comes around it keeps popping in my head, the feeling from previous years when no one even bothers with so much as a text!
Don’t get me wrong, not bothered about cards or presents - although that would be lovely, just a txt! Not even my best friend bothers although she did a couple of years ago send me a card for a big birthday.
I just spend the day feeling sorry for myself, everyone around me seems to get spoiled but me!
I spent years sending cards and never got them back so stopped. Make cakes for in laws and don’t get so much as a card.
I would love to have a lovely birthday for once when I felt friends and family actually cared!
Birthdays are meant to make you feel special for the day, mine makes me feel invisible and no one cares.
Don’t know why I am posting really, suppose I just wanted to vent!

You’ve got three people who will remember. I have a big birthday looming and I’ll be lucky if any of my friends remember. As I’m single and have no close family, it’s not looking good.

I have to say I think if you have a partner and parents when remember and care you’re a lot better off than many. Don’t be fooled/made miserable by social media displays of affection. If you generally feel you want to develop more close friendships, or don’t feel supported by your friends, maybe those are issues worth exploring.

I would suggest not bothering to make cakes for your ILs in the future.

As pp don’t be fooled by things on SM for other peoples birthdays!
I know of people who can’t stand people yet they post pics and a big paragraph on their birthday 🙄
But, I’m also like you. This year I had texts from family and one best friend.
Did it hurt? Like hell but I thought about it and the people that mean the most made the effort.

Awwww, when we feel a gap we really do notice those that don't have it for sure. I know where you're coming from. But, you are far from alone, I'm in the same boat. Personally, I don't particularly mind. I feel the gap of having no wider support raising children (just me and dp), and often envy those whose family are forever helping out or there in emergencies or so it seems.
The fact that you feel this disparity between what you see others having and what you get, isn't because it matters to you and it isn't happening. Could you share that with your friends do you think? If I was your friend, I'd probably be guilty of this, birthdays just don't really matter much to me... But if I knew it did for you I'd really try... Could it be that they just don't realise and they are just not fussed?

@FangsForTheMemory that is awful. You should do something with one of your friends. Get in touch with them and say it’s your birthday on such a date and you have no plans, fancy going for a meal etc?

is because it matters to you, that should say

An early Happy Birthday from me.

Oh yeah! Happy Birthday!! 🎂🎉

Try to look on the bright side, you've still got close family who love you and send you birthday cards.
As one gets older, it's normal that birthday cards gradually become fewer and fewer.

Instead, why not plan some lovely treats for yourself on your special day? Have a bottle of fizz with breakfast, order a cake to be delivered on the day, or plan a picnic tea. Then you'll be certain to have something to look forward to, to mark the day!

🥂🍾 🥂 🍾

I think 3 special birthday greetings are better than a load of false social media type greetings.
Don't put yourself out for others. My birthday last year taught me a lot. On my next birthday I will go alone somewhere and treat myself

Honestly, this is a bad reason to dread your birthday. Parents, partner and kids are the standard people to celebrate a birthday, most people aren't actually throwing each other parties or sending cards most years. It must be frustrating if you have made a fuss of others and it's not reciprocated - maybe it's a sign that either you need to take action to deepen friendships to the level you want, or maybe they are deep but actually you need to also focus on getting friends who have a similar attitude to what is important to you.

If you are on Facebook, make sure you have your birthday public and you'll get lots of "happy birthday"s.

I'd be happy with dp + parents genuinely remembering and not needing a social media reminder.

Thanks everyone. I think it’s the fact friends don’t bother, it really hurts my feelings. I stopped bothering with theirs a couple of years ago, but we are talking nearly 20 years before I did!
I will do something just for me, something I will look forward to, not on the actual day as I can’t, but I will treat myself!

You are being very childish. Birthdays mean nothing to anyone but you. Otherwise, it's just a date on the calendar that millions of other people share, so it is HARDLY special. You are putting far too much energy into this like a 6 year old kid! Come on now. Cake makes you fat, cards go into the garbage can anyway. The only thing you need to do on your birthday is be happy you made it to see another one! Take yourself to a spa and get a massage, mani pedi and facial. Get your hair done. Have wine. Think over the year that passed and the plans you have for the year that is coming. Be positive and stop wallowing in self pity about something like this.

IME Once people get to their 30’s it becomes quite odd for friends to acknowledge birthdays. probably because some people want to forget they are getting older and it’s then politer to assume this applies to all. I’ve not had cards for maybe 20 years (excepting on the big ‘0’ dates) and only get the odd Facebook post on the day.
It’s nothing to do with what people think of you.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you when my closest friends birthdays are and we’ve been friends for 30 years. I know one is end of March ish. I only have Dh and dc and MIL really who celebrate mine. My dad is dead and I’m NC with my mum and anyone else in my family. But what about setting something up yourself? Just say you’d like to have a meal out and find a date your friends can be there.

I have to admit l have some close friends and l couldn't tell you exactly when their birthday is or they mine. We usually do something for a big birthday but in that month but in the in-between years it just passes. My family put messages on WhatsApp, my dc buy me a present and send messages as all away and dp buys me a present which l pick out.
It's all fine. My inlaws never had a clue when my birthday was and l never even gave it a thought.
That space between fantasy and reality is what causes people unhappiness. Just accept the reality and you can have a lovely birthday.
And from one June birthday person to another Happy Birthday!!