My colleague is taking the piss - I need coping strategies

[DalekScarecrow]

I have a senior colleague who is seriously taking the piss and getting away with doing very little work. It is doing my head in and to be honest I think it impacts on my mental health now.

He works in a senior post with direct impact on my work. He actively avoids work, never volunteers to do anything, and lies about how busy he is. When he is given tasks to do, he drags them out for as long as he possibly can, while moaning about how busy he is.

When we have to undertake tasks as a team, he always holds the team back by doing the bare minimum and failing to meet deadlines for group work, when everyone else works hard to complete work on time.

He is responsible for overseeing the resource needs for our area of work. He can't be arsed doing any forward planning, never attends cross-company meetings where he could fight our corner, never puts in any bids for resources, then moans that there's no point doing anything because we never have the resources we need (!!).

In the past, we used to work more closely together, and I would fill the gaps by doing all the work to make sure it got done. This obviously caused me a lot of stress and bad feeling. More recently, we've been moved into separate teams, so I no longer pick up his work, but we still work in the same subject area. I see the work failing, and our subject being let down because the person responsible for doing it just can't be arsed.

I have tried to tackle this by complaining to my manager, who has complained to his manager. They have asked me to keep them informed when incidents arise. The problem is, each incident in isolation seems petty - e.g. he missed a deadline, he didn't consult with others on a piece of work, he forgot to ask people for comments on something until the day of the deadline so we are left with a choice to either jump through his hoops, or watch the work be submitted without our input so it's probably shit... I recently met with his manager and gave him a list of these incidents. Nothing has happened.

Each one of these things is annoying but not catastrophic, but when they happen on a weekly basis they are detrimental to our work, and they are having an impact on my stress levels.

His manager doesn't appear to be doing anything. I feel like I'm just watching our work go down the plug hole. My manager is lovely, and keeps telling me that she understands, I must keep raising things if they're impacting on our work - but ultimately I must learn to let it go and not let it bother me.

How the hell do I do that?

I need coping strategies.

Oh and when lockdown first happened and we were told to work from home - he said to me "It's great isn't it - I dont have to do any work!".

I've worked harder than ever during lockdown. Our company has decided we're going to continue as homeworkers so there is zero oversight of our working time. He is usually offline until the afternoon, then a flurry of emails appears. I think he does about 1.5 days work a week, I honestly do.

Sounds exactly like someone I used to work with.

I managed to avoid working directly with him, but don’t think that anyone actually found a good answer. Other than trying to get allocated to areas where his input into work wasn’t needed.

Yeah I think that's something I will aim for. I've already decided I won't do any projects directly with him where it's just the two of us - because he always sits back and lets me do all the work.

Another colleague recently started, and had the same experience with him. She has also told our manager that she will refuse to work on any projects with him again because he caused her so much stress.

The issue is with unavoidable team work where we sit on a project group. He is always the one to delay the work, he doesn't treat our deadlines with any respect. It feels like he has no consideration for other members of the team who work hard to meet the deadlines when he says 'Sorry, I didn't have time'. I pray that other people will call him out but everyone is too polite.

The other issue is trying to learn not to care when he lets our work down and I see things failing. I really care about our subject area, and it guts me that we're not doing as well as we could because the senior person responsible just can't be bothered.

It does sound really annoying. But the truth is you will always encounter people like this in life. If he were to be managed out it would be someone else. Maybe continue to speak out about things that impact you directly. And perhaps zone out of things that don’t.

That's the issue I'm having - I have to accept that nothing will change. I've worked with him for years, and he's always been like this (and got promoted when I didn't).

For years, I just really wanted other people to notice that I was doing all the work and he was a lazy shit. Then people did notice... but nothing changed.

It's the learning to cope with watching our work area fail that I struggle with. I need to find coping strategies

Any chance of looking for another job? That would infuriate me.

I truly love my job - but yeah I am looking for an internal move within the company to distance myself from him a bit more.

I second just getting away from him in any way you can.

Or become his manager.

Honestly if I were his manager it would infuriate me even more - he's so arrogant he wouldn't be told by anyone.

He lies about how busy he is, so more work was taken off him and given to me and others to do. Now he has very little left to do (despite being senior to us all) but it means he has less to hide behind. So he has been given a couple of tasks to do which should have taken a couple of weeks - he managed to drag it out over 6 months, and used it as an excuse to do nothing else because he was 'so busy with that task'.

We had a catch up meeting last week, where each of us went through what we had been working on over the past month. My colleague and I reeled off a long list of stuff we've been really busy with.

He said "I haven't really got much to tell you about really, not really sure what i've been doing... haha".

He gets paid more than me and is consulted by the company as the senior in our field. It's infuriating.

He sounds like a total shit! Is he mates with upper management or something? How is he getting away with it?!

Keep making notes EVERY time, it'll soon be so long they'll have to take action. Maybe also notes on how that has impacted you, and listing the level of work you have managed vs him. Be as specific as possible. Maybe even give some time estimates as to how long his tasks should have taken Vs how long they did. Is there anybody else on your team who can back you up?

If it really gets bad, find another job offer then threaten to leave and cite your reasons. Maybe you can negotiate him getting moved or let go 🤣

No advice but this sounds exactly like my manager. Its horrible because she knows that I am working really hard and stressed but is still happy to not lift a finger all day while saying how busy she is as an excuse for not doing anything. It's so immoral and selfish. I comfort myself in thinking that she has zero job satisfaction and a bad conscience but there are some days I just want to resign purely because of her. Otherwise I love my job and don't want to have to leave.

I do keep notes and save all emails proving where hes failed - I've passed these on to his manager from time to time. Nothing has happened.

His manager then asked me to start a log of work that I'd like him to do, so that we can track his progress against it. But I told him that I didn't feel comfortable dictating his work programme to him. It's really not up to me. And I didn't keep comfortable keeping a secret list to 'catch him out'. I don't trust his manager, he has betrayed my trust before, and I wouldn't want this list to come back and make me look like I was trying to take control.

I do think my colleague has zero job satisfaction and zero pride in his work. I know that he often laments how much his job has changed, because there is more oversight and less autonomy in general. I know he complains about pressure when he's finally forced to do the things he's supposed to be doing under time pressure because he's wasted so much time doing fuck all.

But I also think he has a pretty easy life not bothering to even log in on some days, putting in the bare minimum of effort on most days, doing childcare when he's supposed to be working to save actually paying for it, and not caring about much.

If managers have asked you to keep a log then it seems they are taking it seriously, perhaps they need evidence before taking action.

You need to let it go. There are always people like this who are utterly shameless in exploiting other people’s willingness to pick up slack and overlook slackers.

He won’t change and he certainly will never get his comeuppance. Life doesn’t work like movies.

I’m kind of in awe of people with this much chutzpah.

Does he have any direct impact on your career progression? If not, don’t give him another thought. It’s a huge waste of your energy.

I agree entirely if the manager's aren't willing to manage him, don't do their dirty work for them. I'd be amazed if my manager asked me to keep a log of problems with a colleague, can that possibly be good practice??

I would look round for ways out. Could you join a separate project team for a specific time?

Why is he going to do it OP, when you knows you and all the other mugs will do it for him?! Management don't need to deal with him because they know you and everyone else will carry him.

You need to let him fail. Even if that means watching all of your hard work going up in flames. Leave him to carry the load for once. Show management you won't carry this dead weight anymore.

He does impact on my career progression in so much as he is in the job that I want to do i.e. the only one to hold a senior position in my field. While he is in that job, it will never be available to me.

So I have to move around him - take a sidestep into a slightly different field, which is what I'm thinking of doing. It's the only way for me to progress.

I've tried letting him fail. For years, I covered his failures by doing the work myself. When we were moved into new teams, he was exposed as I was no longer tasked with doing the same stuff as him - so his work was his sole responsibility. He has failed spectacularly, taking months to complete simple tasks, which have involved many hours of meetings from people trying to persuade and cajole him into completing it. I have been asked to highlight when/if his failure to produce something impacts directly on my work. I have done so.

Nothing has happened.

Trouble is, a lot of what he fails on is about getting our projects out there, seeking resources, collaboration and striving to be better. He does none of that, he fails to attend meetings, fails to share information, fails to consult or come up with any decent input. But on paper - to his manager - it looks like he's doing the work. Its only me that knows that the work is shit and really below the standard that it could be if someone decent was doing the job. But he pulls the wool over his manager's eyes, and just says a project was a failure because of external factors, or wasn't worth bothering with etc.

I think his manager has just resigned himself to the idea that this colleague is a low-performer, but as long as he's doing the bare minimum that's ok.

In my meeting with his manager, he said he was going to 'try to persuade the colleague to focus this year on finishing some of the outstanding projects and that would be a good thing'. Many of these projects have been outstanding for years. So basically his manager is going to 'try to get him' to do work he should have done years ago. And nothing else. And I guarantee we'll get to the end of this year and he won't have done them. And nothing will happen.

I pray that other people will call him out but everyone is too polite

Everyone else is saying the same prayer.

One if you needs to pull your pants up and actually say it. It is the ONLY WAY to deal with cunts like this in the absence of competent management.

I am pretty blunt and have previously said things like "I'm sorry Bob? You haven't had time? It's 6 weeks since this landed and I've seen you taking 1.5hrs extra fag breaks every day of the last 2 months" and "Don't tell me what to do Jim. I don't take that sort of talk off my teenager and I'm certainly not taking it off you."

I am usually very professional and smooth, but when faced with a mouthy, duplicitous cunt, I've found the best way is absolutely to assert your dominance. Every time I've done this, an awkward, bullying liar has suddenly morphed into my personal fan-boy.

In addition to that, this colleague has hinted that he was considering doing something which borders on fraud, and would certainly be against our policy and procedures.

I told his manager that I was worried he was going to do this. Manager said "Oh well, he's been told not to, so if he does he does".

It's almost like his manager is scared of managing him.

It’s total shit, but these people are everywhere. You need to keep your head down and focus on your career. Let him be crap and don’t think about it.

Management teams everywhere have no clue how to deal with this kind of person, so they don’t. They’re not really interested in efficiency, just making their own lives easier.

Make your life easier and stop thinking about him.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

I pray that other people will call him out but everyone is too polite

Everyone else is saying the same prayer.

One if you needs to pull your pants up and actually say it. It is the ONLY WAY to deal with cunts like this in the absence of competent management.

I am pretty blunt and have previously said things like "I'm sorry Bob? You haven't had time? It's 6 weeks since this landed and I've seen you taking 1.5hrs extra fag breaks every day of the last 2 months" and "Don't tell me what to do Jim. I don't take that sort of talk off my teenager and I'm certainly not taking it off you."

I am usually very professional and smooth, but when faced with a mouthy, duplicitous cunt, I've found the best way is absolutely to assert your dominance. Every time I've done this, an awkward, bullying liar has suddenly morphed into my personal fan-boy.

I love you - please can you come and work with me?

Its not that straightforward with this colleague - he's perfectly nice but he's just butt lazy and evasive about doing any work.

On recent team projects where he's failed to meet deadlines repeatedly, I haven't been leading the teams, so it hasn't been my place to call him out. If it was a project I was leading, I certainly would point out that he agreed to a deadline and his failure to now meet it means he's holding everyone back.

His arrogance means that he doesn't take internal deadlines at all seriously, as he thinks its just other people being over zealous and silly. He just rolls his eyes and says 'oh i'll get it done, I've just been really busy'.

@TheLeadbetterLife

It’s total shit, but these people are everywhere. You need to keep your head down and focus on your career. Let him be crap and don’t think about it.

Management teams everywhere have no clue how to deal with this kind of person, so they don’t. They’re not really interested in efficiency, just making their own lives easier.

Make your life easier and stop thinking about him.

I think this is what I need to do.

It's obvious his manager has no idea how to manage him, and doesn't really want to confront him.

I need to focus on the things that I can achieve. Avoid working with him directly where he can impact on my work. Anything where I do have to rely on him - I hold him to strict deadlines and if he fails - I tell his manager and my manager that his failure is impacting on our output and let them deal with it.

The perpetual lateness to meetings, failure to turn up, failure to meet internal deadlines, and failure to actually be proactive are all annoying as fuck but I have to not let them get me down.

He probably takes credit for all the work done by others in the senior meetings and appraisals etc that’s why he got promoted. He’s playing a game. He does the minimum, talks the talk and wins. It’s incredibly frustrating.