Am i expecting too much romance?

[Romancedead99]

I’m mid 30s. Been with my partner for 18 months. For the past 6 months there’s been no romance. No dates. No compliments. No sex. He’s affectionate in terms of hugging and kissing and paying for food when we do eat out. But I’m starved of any romance.

Is this normal? Or am I expecting too much at this point in the relationship and at my age?

I’ve tried making plans for the future - trips etc. He just shrugs. He’s so passive. It’s like he’s not fussed about anything.

Have you tried talking to him about it and telling him how you feel?

What?! Nooo, of course this isn’t normal. It sounds shit. And even if it was, who cares if it’s not making you happy.

Are you initiating things and being rejected or is neither of you trying to do anything to improve things?

I’m not sure why you think romance dies in your 30s.

He sounds really dull and like he's doing the token gestures of 'being a boyfriend' but not really into it. Wouldn't do it for me.. ultimately if you're not getting that vibe from him then maybe there's a compatibility issue or he could be one of those emotionally unavailable types who are unable to offer any depth to a relationship. It's definitely not the sort of 'normal' you are describing. Go out and live your life with someone who lights your fire, he sounds a damp squib to me, total yawn..

Probably normal for him, but you don't have to put up with it. Sounds like he made an effort to reel you in, and now he feels comfortable is reverting to his habitual state - passivity.

Honestly I would simply call it a day, and tell him that he inst compatible with you. Find someone who is naturally more affectionate and demonstrative. Good luck.

Why are you sleepwalking through your own life? You should have dumped him ages ago. Raise your standards.

You're young, you've only been with him for 18 months, so no biggie, imo. Move on, find someone else. Just tell him you don't fancy him anymore. Jeez, life really is too short for this.

@Aquamarine1029

Why are you sleepwalking through your own life? You should have dumped him ages ago. Raise your standards.

SLEEP WALKING THROUGH YOUR OWN LIFE I have never heard this before and I’m 48 years old. Wow what a Fabulous comment, totally awesome. Did you make it up yourself ?

@Romancedead99

Hiya and sorry you face this. As other have say it’s not normal. I suggest you talk to him and ask. The trick is too so that in a safe fashion so it does not become something he might feel is an attack. That’s if you like him

If not as others have said you might have to split up . Mid 30’s is very young hunni

Is it normal? Is the wrong question. You clearly have a difference in expectations and it’s healthy to discuss them. However, if these differences persist you need to ask yourself what is the point of wasting more of your time with someone you are fundamentally incompatible with.

Don’t get hung up with being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship at the cost of being in a relationship where your needs are met.

No sex or romance for 6 months? In your 30s? That's ridiculous, I'd have wanted it at least once a week at that age.