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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mums new life

4 replies

Violet1988 · 05/06/2021 18:34

My mum is in a terrible relationship and finally has seen the light and wants out. The basic circumstances are that she lives in her own home with her emotionally abusive alcoholic partner. She has asked him to leave and he doesn't take her seriously and doesn't go. She has now got herself a new job in a new area and has her house up for sale. This is her best chance to leave him but she still doesn't know how to get him to actually go. I've said she should call the police but does he have any rights to live in her house. I think he pays the internet bill, she is trying to get this back into her name. Is there a process she needs to follow as if he were a tennant? He's lived there a couple of years. Also could he mess up her house sale as adults living in a house that's been sold have to sign to say they are willing to move out on completion don't they. He will the to make trouble for her if he can. Any advice much appreciated.

OP posts:
Fireflygal · 05/06/2021 19:31

Hi, if he is not on the mortgage then he will have no rights to live in house. She could phone Shelter or Womens aid to check.

I suggest she formally tells him in an email with a date to vacant his stuff. If he doesn't follow through she can call the police. She could also photo non emergency number for advice.

He could jeopardise the sale by being an asshole through viewings etc so she is best to get him to go first.

Just keep reassuring your mum she is doing the right thing and he will eventually have to go. It must be a relief for you.

Violet1988 · 05/06/2021 19:41

@Fireflygal
Hi thanks for replying, no he's not on the mortgage, checking with Shelter / Women's Aid is a good idea thanks.

My husband also suggested the letter/email, I have been trying to look online to see if there is a suggested length of time to give and whether it's a legal requirement.

Re viewings at the moment he thinks he's coming to so he's been ok with viewers, but yes definitely would be very likely to be an issue when she tells him.

It's not a relief yet, I'm afraid to get my hopes up tbh but fingers crossed she can do it x

OP posts:
User57327259 · 05/06/2021 22:05

I hope that the partner does not know where the new job is.

Once the house is sold DM and a new house sorted dont ever give the partner the address. Once possession of the new house has happened change all locks, get a ring doorbell.

GNCQ · 05/06/2021 22:14

This bloke has no rights whatsoever to live in your mum's property.

She can tell him to pack his stuff and get out today if she wants.

If he refuses she can call the police and they will tell him to get out and find somewhere else to live.

Basically, your mum needs to stop being a doormat.

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