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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone please explain to me if this is abuse?

4 replies

gothicmummy · 05/06/2021 14:39

Truthfully I have no idea because it's never been physical.
My now Ex would frequently walk out on me, probably over 20 times in the 5 years we were together, he would call me horrible names in an argument, tell me il never be happy because I was abusive/toxic etc even though he was the one shouting at me and calling me names which often reduced me to tears and he would say to me 'it's obvious you care because your crying and I'm not crying so I don't care', he blames his mental health over and over again and that's how he always wormed his way back in to my life, it all came to a head a few weeks ago where he told my child to leave me as soon as they were old enough to do so. He's dragged my name through the mud with everyone. He often makes a spectacle of himself on social media to further play the victim or give off this 'strong independent man' vibe. Up until I told him to stop messaging me unless it was important I was dealing with daily angry messages off of him and then he'd go back to social media and play victim.
We do have children together which makes it even harder as he refuses to co parent. I just feel abit meh today and with no one really to talk to.

OP posts:
PerditaCambellBlack · 05/06/2021 14:40

Yes it’s abuse

PerditaCambellBlack · 05/06/2021 14:41

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en/What-is-abuse

Automaticforthepeople · 06/06/2021 09:51

You and your children deserve so much better than this OP. I am sorry you are going through it. It was so unnecessary and cruel for him to say that to one of your children.

It does sound abusive. It's quite telling also, that he tries to put the blame on you, whilst denying his own behaviour. This seems to be quite a common tactic.

www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/

Lovelydiscusfish · 06/06/2021 10:47

Enormously abusive, yes. I am so sorry you are going through this.

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