Why do men on dating apps block you before even meeting you?

abstractprojection · 05/06/2021 01:02

He might not be single

Chidjireta · 05/06/2021 01:15

I’ve been having this a lot lately too OP.
I asked for some advice over on the dating thread in case I was inadvertently saying something wrong or not saying something right.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a bit of a numbers game. When I first started on there most of the men were genuine, respectful and quite chatty but I think this last year has changed everything and everyone.

ColaOlaLa · 05/06/2021 01:19

I don’t think it means he was in a relationship the whole time although it’s a possibility or perhaps he changed his mind? Got back with an ex? Met someone he preferred, or maybe you did something to annoy him. Who knows!

DeeCeeCherry · 05/06/2021 01:26

Either met or more interested in someone else, or he's not single

SomewhereInAnotherLife · 05/06/2021 01:28

He’s just decided he’s not interested for whatever reason but can’t be bothered to just say that. Much easier to just make you disappear. It happened to me once or twice when I was OLD.

LaBellina · 05/06/2021 03:27

Might not be single
Might have issues
Might have gone on a date with someone else later and decided they are the one after 1 meeting !

Plenty of reasons and I doubt any of them has anything to do with you personally.

VickyPicky1 · 05/06/2021 07:23

Maybe after chatting he decided he didn’t want to move forward or meet you for whatever reason. Do you expect to receive a formal notice? You haven’t even met him. Why the overanalysis?

When I was single I have dine this many times. You very quickly learn that it’s better to block rather than have people orbiting you and resurfacing randomly or keep asking why you are not replying or when can we meet. Blocking is cleaner. I am not saying you have done any of these but someone must have done so in their past and people just get quite wary of rejecting people in their face so fade out or block and move on.

Yellowhighheels · 05/06/2021 08:17

Don't take it personally, he may have met someone, he may have decided from your message or profile that you're not for him and at that stage doesn't really owe you/ it would be weird to offer an explanation.

Not my proudest moment but I have done it several times, otherwise you find yourself fielding loads of conversations you don't want to continue.

If I had never met or promised anything to someone, my reasoning was 'which would I find more hurtful, someone I'd never met and barely spoken to on an app just disappearing, or being rejected outright?'. I decided probably the latter so just slipped away.

I'm sure your messages aren't offensive, maybe the guy is just thinking 'ah, ok, doesn't feel like we have much in common'. So it's a good thing. You're not wasting more time on non starters. In OLD, it is a numbers game but it is also advisable to get off the app and meet in real life ASAP, then you have some idea for real if there is a spark and you're not getting invested with someone you don't actually know.

seensome · 05/06/2021 08:44

Oh dear, I unmatch quite a lot, I don't think much of it, I only go on to date if I'm really feeling it, not always about looks but I find the conversation doesn't flow well enough or maybe they've asked me something I don't agree with, number of different silly reasons really, don't take it personally, only follow on sm if dating? cuts a lot of the crap out anyway.

confused1974 · 05/06/2021 08:52

As many previous posters, I unmatch if I find the conversation boring or if I need to think hard about what to say. I talk to 5-6 men at the same time so if it doesn't flow I delete straight away. I prefer to chat on the app and only give out my WhatsApp number after first date if I like them (if not, I send a short message "sorry no spark" and delete them). Ruthless but that's how online dating works unfortunately

Bagelsandbrie · 05/06/2021 09:05

@confused1974

As many previous posters, I unmatch if I find the conversation boring or if I need to think hard about what to say. I talk to 5-6 men at the same time so if it doesn't flow I delete straight away. I prefer to chat on the app and only give out my WhatsApp number after first date if I like them (if not, I send a short message "sorry no spark" and delete them). Ruthless but that's how online dating works unfortunately

I was exactly the same when I was online dating.

I did met dh eventually though- been together newly 12 years now!

BillyTodd · 05/06/2021 09:08

@Seasonofthewitch90

I’m not even talking about ghosting after a date but about men who unmatch you before they’ve even met you! I was talking to someone on Bumble and also had him on Instagram - had been speaking for a few days but not a lot, a message each every few hours. I was not bombarding him at all, if anything I wasn’t asking him enough though don’t think my tone was standoffish... anyway he sent me a long message this evening about his work and future plans etc, I replied within the hour with a message that could not in any way be deemed offensive/rude/overly keen. Anyway he then unmatched me and just been on Instagram and he’s not only deleted me but blocked me too (my housemate checked and she can still his profile whereas I can’t) - it’s bizarre! I know he isn’t accountable to me and doesn’t have to explain himself but this has happened before and I’m always baffled by how out of the blue it is. Can I hear other peoples similar stories please as am currently feeling a bit taken aback!

It IS weird and it IS rude but unfrtunately it's the way online dating works these days.

He's not worth a further second of your headspace. Next please!

Yellowhighheels · 05/06/2021 10:27

Also, makes sense he would delete you off Instagram if he'd unmatched. Much better than having some random bloke looking at your pictures.

zmanyea · 23/10/2023 04:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

zmanyea · 23/10/2023 04:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

zmanyea · 23/10/2023 04:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

junbean · 23/10/2023 06:40

I'm the one doing this to men so from my experience as soon as I realize we're not a match for any reason I unmatch. Sometimes it's because I won't look at their profile properly when swiping and after chatting for a bit I'll go look again and realize he's religious or something and I'll unmatch immediately. I don't want to waste my time or theirs. I will tell them before doing it though. I don't think it's any more complicated than that- the point of the app is to either match or not match. If they unmatch you it's a favor so you can move on.

Mushroom2023 · 23/10/2023 07:26

I don't really see how simply unmatching someone you've not met on OLD is really any different from times gone by when people met in pubs or nightclubs and you might have had a chat with them, a bit of flirting and then suddenly they might disappear without any explanation, or the next thing you saw was them leaving with someone else on their arm.

This kind of behaviour isn't new, I think we just put more expectations on things if meeting online.