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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Locked out

24 replies

Learningatmyownpace · 04/06/2021 14:41

Am I being sensitive. DH is on a zoom call and I'm locked out. He's text to say 'on a zoom call'. There's no way I wouldn't say 'excuse me' then quickly run down and unlock the door. Can't drive anywhere as am blocked in the drive bow by a workman. I don't have my keys because he said he had them them earlier when he dropped me off - turns out only had his on him. It's not work he's onto either

Would you expect to be let it?

OP posts:
Noidea2114 · 04/06/2021 14:42

Keep banging on the door. What an ars

dementedpixie · 04/06/2021 14:43

Of course he can come and let you in. He's being an arsehole

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/06/2021 14:43

Not work?

Hammer in the door, shout through the letter box and make a point of telling him and the person he is talking to that his selfishness knows no bounds.

HollowTalk · 04/06/2021 14:44

This happened to someone else on here lately - that guy had his headphones in and ignored messages, I think.

I'd be furious if he didn't come to open the door - the only time I'd forgive it is if he was in a disciplinary or an interview.

bloodywhitecat · 04/06/2021 14:44

Too right I would expect him to let me in, what is he playing at?

RestingPandaFace · 04/06/2021 14:44

I’d text him back and say can’t you excuse your self for a minute and let me in. Its not my fault I don’t have my keys.

If he ignores I’d ring the bell.

MissDoomAndGloom · 04/06/2021 14:48

No matter what it is, he needs to get his ass up and come and let you in!!! is he usually such an ass?

BlueSurfer · 04/06/2021 14:51

Depends on the call and how long it lasts.

I’d look into getting a key safe or electronic lock for the future.

AllIknowsofar · 04/06/2021 14:52

Are you the poster who has an ongoing problem with her horrible husband locking her out all the time?

Faranth · 04/06/2021 14:54

Too bloody right I would!

MaMaD1990 · 04/06/2021 14:57

I'd lean on the doorbell. What a prat.

TooMinty · 04/06/2021 14:59

Is he using his mobile for Zoom? Because if so you can keep ringing it and it will keep muting him on Zoom every time which will hopefully encourage him to let you in. But unless there's a big backstory like you lose/forget your keys every other day then he's being a total arse.

Original poster
Learningatmyownpace · 04/06/2021 15:01

Not me.

Update - I think I am being sensitive. I'm pretty sure it's his first counseling session. It's a huge step for him so I didn't ask too many questions. I don't blame him for not opening the door till he's done.

He could have bloody thought about me not having keys though and left it open though. I would have (probably) 🤣

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 04/06/2021 15:01

It's not work? WTF is he playing at? (Even if it was work, I would have expected him to let you in.)

Hope you're in by now.

timeisnotaline · 04/06/2021 15:02

Lean on the doorbell and message him in 5 mins I’ll smash a window and you can use your zoom mastery to book someone to fix it, if zoom meetings are so important to you.

dementedpixie · 04/06/2021 15:03

Can he throw the keys out a window to you

Motnight · 04/06/2021 15:03

This is at least the 3rd thread where the Op's partner refuses to let her into her house.

timeisnotaline · 04/06/2021 15:03

Hot tip for him for future counselling sessions- if you don’t want to jump up in the middle don’t lock your partner out, especially after having told them you have their keys. If you can’t not do that, then up you jump and get the door.

Original poster
Learningatmyownpace · 04/06/2021 15:04

@Motnight

This is at least the 3rd thread where the Op's partner refuses to let her into her house.
No it's not! You're confusing me with another poster
OP posts:
Original poster
Learningatmyownpace · 04/06/2021 15:05

@timeisnotaline

Hot tip for him for future counselling sessions- if you don’t want to jump up in the middle don’t lock your partner out, especially after having told them you have their keys. If you can’t not do that, then up you jump and get the door.
Yes, background to keys is we're currently sharing a car. So not a usual problem
OP posts:
spotcheck · 04/06/2021 15:06

Surely you don't live in a one room studio?

If not, I think he could still let you in, but then go somewhere private.

This being a ' huge step' for him does not mean he can treat you like this.

Original poster
Learningatmyownpace · 04/06/2021 15:11

No, he's upstairs. Keys are downstairs. And it'd be fine for me to be in the house. It's just circumstance. He needs this.

I'm not pissed off now.

I'm peri menopausal and so sensitive to anything. I'm struggling with my emotions and knowing what's right and wrong. I'm in the car and luckily only overreacted on here.

I'll give him this one and make sure it doesn't happen again. Key on car key!

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/06/2021 15:11

That actually makes it worse . For something so important to him he should have made absolutely certain that he would be comfortable throughout. Which would include ensuring that you wouldn't have to interrupt him or be made to feel like you were intruding.

Don't allow yourself to be forced on the defensive because of something he needs and he arranged.

MaMaD1990 · 04/06/2021 15:16

Ah. He is forgiven in my books too then. It's never a nice feeling having councillling when you feel like someone is shuffling around the house.

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