Is it me or is he withdrawing?

[Magicpaint]

Ex and I got back together 3 months ago. To start with he was full on, flowers, discussing our future.
There have been times (2 times) where I've had really bad anxiety and think he will leave me again like he did before. He reassures me that's not the case.
But....
The last week I noticed the flowers have stopped. I don't expect them every day of course not but it was strange how it just stopped. Then he no longer texts me when he's at work. It use to be we would chat through his whole shift pretty much. This has now stopped the last few nights. He says it's busy at work but when I've gone to message him I've seen he's been online. Reading this back it doesn't sound good. I really love this man I just don't know what to do.

It sounds pretty full on. “we would chat through his whole shift pretty much.” What the hell does he do that he can sit messaging for hours. But what on Earth do you chat about that whole time.
He probably feels like he’s got you back now, so can stop putting in so much effort.

Magic, do you fear that he has hoovered you?

Is this the Ex whom you recently divorced? If so, you’ve written multiple threads about how he treated you like ‘rubbish,’ left you and DD for OW, was financially abusing you, and was a deadbeat dad. In April you said you were now happier, and you called him ‘a lazy, lying bastard.’

If this Ex is indeed that man, what made you change your mind and take him back? His many character flaws are still present unless he has done a ton of work on himself.

Your relationship sounded too intense. Texting throughout the whole shift and flowers everyday is not normal. If anything the pace you’re at now is a healthier and a more sustainable one.

I’d be relieved it stopped that’s just too too much.

Then he no longer texts me when he's at work. It use to be we would chat through his whole shift pretty much. This has now stopped the last few nights

Has it occurred to you that he might be, and it might sound crazy, working..?

Tbh, I'd dump someome who did all the things you describe. It's unsustainable and undesirable.

Why did you get back woith a deadbeat dad (your words) who replaced you like he'd replace a used dishcloth?

Of course you will doubt. Of course anything other than complete enmeshment will create anxiety. Of course you will worry when his hoovering behaviour stops - and it has to stop, because like everyone has said, no healthy person would have even started it.

Your inner being knows this is dead in the water. Your inner being knows you are clinging on out of fear and codependency - so what happens when you take a man back out of fear and codependency? You get more and more fear and codependency.

To get love, you must first be love - complete love to yourself, so that you will accept nothing less from a romantic partner.

This is not for you. All that is in question is how long it takes for you to move on. Waste as long as you like.