Shall I go or not on 2nd date?

[nolovelost]

Just recently started dating again, been single for years! Had to sieve through some right dicks! Had a date the other weekend, seems decent enough and ok looking, the date was OK but didn't think "oh this is the one!". He seems more attentive through texts than in the flesh.

Thing is, the idea sounds good but when it comes to near the date, I just can't be arsed! I'd rather just sit on my own at home, pigging out and binge watching TV after a busy week.

I'm supposed to be booking the meal for Saturday night.

What shall I do?!!!

Thank you for all the further comments. I've read them all. I still don't feel like going but I see what people are saying about a second date potentially being different and I don't want to regret not finding out. That's if he's still interested after me declining the 'cooking' meet up. He's gone quiet so maybe he's lining up his next 'cooking' date!

@wobblywinelover I absolutely see what you're saying, everything!

I've been OLD on and off for years and I've had plenty go cold on me. I'm not sure if I want to persue it only to be disappointed when he does.

Way too soon to bother to cook. Especially when he hasnt won you over.

I did 5 years of online dating and, in that experience, would say that, if he didn't make you laugh and didn't ask much about you, a second date is likely to be a time better spent another way!

If your best friend told you about their date like you have told us, what would you say to them?

I do feel like I'd be wasting my time.

I'd be driving 35 minutes away from home too. Could easily be 3/4 hours down the drain!

'cooking together' sounds like hell to me. Tell him no, you're not doing that. Id go out on another date though and see how that goes.

Have you asked what he wants to cook?

I would say you have already spent too much time overthinking this. Which is strange considering you also seem bored by the whole situation and indifferent to the man you are considering seeing . Why not toss a coin?

Gallowayan, absolutely agree with you. That in itself is the main reason why I'm not going to bother.

A 2nd date shouldn't feel like a chore.....

I am so like this!

Go if you have no other plans and like him enough to see him again. If you don't or have other plans then leave it where it is. You are in danger of overthinking this

He doesn't have to be the one. But you may still have a good time

I wouldn't go.

He barely asked you any questions on the first date and he suggested twice you 'cook together' for the second.

I wouldnt bother put any more time into his company either. He does sound keen to get you in his house, and yes I am very very cautious, but I really wouldn't trust him.

Were you thinking of driving back home on the night?

He might be quite persistant and want you to 'just have one more drink' so you 'have' to stay over. That would worry me.

But then I am not a very trusting person at all

I wouldn’t go - trust you instincts

Definitely agree with others ‘cooking together’ is wanting sex.

Not sure why I didn't trust my gut. I knew that's what he as angling at but still had to ask for opinions. I said to myself, after so many let downs, that this would be the last date and that I'd come off OLD.

I know I want a sexual relationship, and again, lots of people have sex on the second date. But I've made the mistake before after 1/2 dates and it was the wrong thing to do. Not normal that he wanted to be in that environment just after 1 date and not knowing me. Especially after not showing enough interest in me nor wanting to make a good impression.

It's a no brainer really. Thanks again.

I've just realised cooking rhymes with fucking

@nolovelost what did you decide to do? No judgement here either way but interested to catch up on your story

@wobblywinelover I decided not to contact him about meeting at the pub. Mainly due to the feeling I got about him on the date. And I'm glad that I made that decision. He didn't contact me either which I'm not bothered about!
I'm arranging things with friends so I'll be getting out more and having some fun. I just want to try and meet someone naturally.
Thanks for asking.

I’ve never heard cooking is code for sex. You are reading too much people

@Factoryfloor

I’ve never heard cooking is code for sex. You are reading too much people

No but making no effort to create an impression then desperately trying to drive a date in a home setting does indicate his interest is purely physical

Good call not to go OP. For whatever reason, you clearly weren’t feeling it.

Second date I would want to be giddy with nerves and excitement.....

@lostitall exactly!

@Lovelydiscusfish exactly. Didn't want to waste my time, money and fuel!

He's just messaged me saying "Hi ** I presume you had other plans for yesterday xx" WTF!

Oh ffs

Just tell him you didn't feel a spark, but good luck with OLD blah blah, then immediately block and delete to prevent him pestering.