What to do about money?

[bunburyscucumbersandwich]

Now I always thought that if you were married/living with someone then all money gets paid into the same account and bills and everything comes out of that joint account. That's how my parents did it and it worked for them.

But! I did that with my ex and didn't realise that I was paying in all my money, but he wasn't, and to make things worse he was spending joint money on gambling sites.

So, hopefully moving in with my new partner soon. Looking at mortgages etc. Would it be best to have a joint family account and both pay in a certain amount? How do you do things?

I don't agree with joint accounts in my opinion. I think separate accounts is fine as long as you both can be trusted to pay fair share of bills.

My partner and I both have our own accounts where our salaries are paid and a joint account where we pay the same amount into each month for household bills to come out of. We split everything 50/50 but it’s doubtful we would ever have a joint account where both salaries are paid. I hate the idea but then we do earn very similar salaries

We both have our own account where we get salary on. Then transfer the same percentage to a joint account where all our bills come out from. Think its 60% at the moment. The percentage changes depending on expenses etc. When I was on mat leave my dh put I think about 90% or all of his salary in when I was not being paid to cover expenses and I put in what I can.

DH and I have moved overseas a couple of times and needed to open new bank accounts, so we have had joint. But back in UK, where we are now, we have our own bank accounts, simply because we have both had them for a long time and since before we met.

We totally consider our money to be joint and it matters not to us whose account it actually sits in. We move it around at will if we need to top up any account.

I definitely wouldn’t get a joint account or to be honest a joint mortgage if I wasn’t married.

We ratio it based on earnings, so if one partner earned £30k and one earned £70 k, the lower earner would pay 30% of monthly bills and the high earner 70%.

We both earn the same though so the maths is easier!

Married 7 years here. We have no joint accounts. We have split the bills e.g. so he pays creche, I pay groceries, he pays bins, I pay sky etc so we are covering same amount roughly. We earn roughly the same amount. When we are jointly saving for something (e.g. When we bought house) we have in the past opened joint savings for that specific purpose. We are lucky though that we don't have a mortgage (saved, bought at a very fortunate time etc) as I imagine that would be harder to keep separate.

Everyone has their own way of doing things, but for me and my DH we both have personal current accounts where we receive our salaries. Then we have a joint account too, and we each pay in (by standing order) enough to cover all our regular household outgoings (mortgage, car, gas, electric, food, council tax, insurances etc) based on our individual earnings. All our bills get paid out of there. We review our household expenses together 2x per year, and adjust the amount up or down as needed. So for us, as DH earns (take home) about 2x what I do, he pays in say £500 and I pay £250.

We then also have a joint savings account which is there for emergencies and big purchases, and holidays. Again, we both save into that by SO in proportion to our earnings. After that we each pay from our own current accounts subscriptions for our own interests/hobbies ... eg he loves cycling and sport so he pays his own TV subscriptions for that and I pay for my own magazine subscriptions etc from mine. After that we each spend our own current account money as we see fit ... although to be fair he does seem to spend more on me (treats, clothes, etc) than I do on him, but he does have more left than I do.

When one of us gets a big windfall like a work bonus, or an inheritance (rare, but has happened) we sit down and discuss how much to put into our joint pot, and how much the person receiving it keeps for themselves. Usually we put 50% into joint stuff (like last year he got a good bonus so we bought a new sofa and carpet) and the other 50% he spent on what he wanted (for him a new mountain bike).

Might not work for everyone as our way does mean being very open about earnings and windfalls, but it works for us.

If you aren't married but are leading towards it, then I would definitely recommend being upfront about where your financial red lines are, and make sure you both know your respective financial situations from the off. Last thing you want to end up doing is paying off his old debts and resenting it.

Hope this helps.

We have a joint account where we pay a proportionate amount of our incomes in, leaving us the same disposable monthly. We also put enough into the joint to cover any extras like socialising things for the house etc.

Seperate accounts. DH pays me monthly his share of the bills. Yes technically I'm at risk if he refuses to pay as it's all in my name but by the time he's refused to pay within a few days of asking, the relationship would be over before next month

Oh and our individual accounts hood our disposable incomes and are for what we wish to buy personally.

Joint account which both parties pay into and that all shared bills come out of - including monthly food budget etc.

Personal account for own spends.

£1000 each into joint account here. Plenty left over each month.

I’d never have a joint account with someone I was only dating, we just did 50/50 on the bills and what was left from our salaries was our own.

We have separate accounts and I pay the mortgage because the house is mine. If DP wants more money than his current income allows then he can go and find himself a better paid job. Whilst I love him very much and am happy to pay for e.g. anything for the house, the bulk of our joint socialising, our holidays and so on, I don’t agree that I should have to subsidise a capable, clever, able-bodied adult who can make his own choices by reducing my own fun money to ensure we have equal spends in our accounts as a point of principle. He seems to do alright, and it isn’t a problem.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I’d never have a joint account with someone I was only dating, we just did 50/50 on the bills and what was left from our salaries was our own.

Surely if you're moving in together you're not "just dating" though?

We have a joint account for bills, and a separate joint account for shopping (food etc). We pay in the ratio of our salaries (DH earns slightly more than me and then we have the same amount disposable at the end of the month in single accounts to do as we please.

DP and I have been living together for 5 years, have a kid, and we still don’t have a joint account. It’s really not necessary as long as neither of you is a freeloader and you’re on the same page about money. I pay for certain bills, he pays for certain ones. If there’s a big expense, one of us will transfer the money to the other. We know the household budget, we know how much we each earn and we tell each other about any additional income or unexpected expenses.

We have seperate accounts. My partner pays the rent and I pay the other bills. Our rent is higher than the bills but he earns more than me. We both buy food, just depends who goes shopping.

We met very young so pooled the little money we did have together early on and have always had a joint account so both wages get paid in and bills come out of it. I've seen friends ask their husband /wife to transfer the money they "owe" them from a takeaway etc and just think its so petty and couldn't live like that.

We share all our income. Luckily we don’t check/question what the other spends, probably because we don’t spend unreasonably. Neither of us smoke. We both drink but mainly in the house together. We both go out with friends every so often. We both like to spend a lot of our spare money on our DS or save to go on holidays as a family.

Our wages go into our own accounts and we have a joint account for bills which are split 50/50.

Since we got married, we've had a joint account which all money came into and all bills came out of.
We are quite different with our attitude to money (one a saver one a spender) so what works for us is having our own "spending (saving) money" - the same amount to each person - to do with what we will each month.
We were very broke at the time, and would have noticed straight away if any money came out of the account that wasn't known about by the other partner, or if all the salary wasn't coming in though.

I think the difference here is if two of you are pragmatically, and logically buying a house together because it makes sense for you for a few years, or if you have made a commitment and hold a belief that you will truely be a couple for the rest of your lives. We've had times over the years when dh wasn't earning and when I wasn't earning. We've had times when I earned a lot more and times when he earned a lot more. However "our money" was always considered "our money" so it was the right thing for us to work with a joint account.

That doesn't mean it is the only way. Everyone's circumstances are different.

We have 3 joint accounts with Halifax. It means when we log in we can both see all the accounts. We use one as a household account so all bills / direct debits etc go out of here. We pay enough into this account to cover everything and then keep an equal and set amount of spending money each which is transferred to each of the other accounts (we each use one of them as our own account even though in theory they’re both joint). Anything family wise / kids / days out comes out of the household one, we allow enough extra to cover this stuff.

We have a joint account that everything goes into and out of, and a joint credit card for big purchases etc. Then we both have separate 'pocket money' accounts that we transfer a set amount into each month from the joint account for treats etc. It works well for us. We do not earn similar amounts at the moment, but have done in the past, and could do again. Chances are DP will always earn more than me now because he works in a more lucrative sector, but we're both quite happy with the arrangement.

I would never have a joint account. Agree on division of regular outgoings based on what you each earn. Full disclosure regarding income and full discussion and consensus regarding how who and when money is spent on larger items.