BF and female friends

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BF of 2 yrs, live separately. Works in industry where there is a lot of networking, social media required.

Has recently been meeting up with a lot of female "pals" - people I've never heard of before and always seems semi secretive. Eg. I'd ask if he had plans, usual response would be not sure yet, and then lo and behold he'd slip into conversation afterwards he been to "so and so's" house.

I would never begrudge anyone having friends, this just always feels like randoms he's never once mentioned and always feels a bit sly.

Am I right to feel slightly uneasy?

If something feels wrong it usually is.

Absolute rubbish @aquamarine1029!!!

That's the bollocks someone uses to wind a situation up even more. Would you say that if a man was posting the same thing about his girlfriend????

OP surely the fact its not the same name all the time should mean it's nothing relationship wise. If it's part of the job I'd suggest sorting communication skills out more, if you want the relationship to last

Maybe he’s just spontaneous with his plans so he decides to see someone at the last minute

Do you have other reasons not to trust him?

If it was all work then why refer to them as friends or mates.

I honestly wouldn't mind if he was being upfront about all this, just an uneasy feeling he's not.

Wouldn't say he's massively spontaneous either, I usually have to slot in around his diary.

Theres no reason he should be going to random womens houses. Not unless he is their interior designer.

It wouldn't be on with me.

@Umberellatheweatha

Theres no reason he should be going to random womens houses. Not unless he is their interior designer.

It wouldn't be on with me.

This.

Also, don't waste your time trying to explain to him why its unacceptable behaviour. He knows. He just doesn't want you to know he knows

People with respect for their partners dont hang out in private residences with members of the opposite sex. Only exception might be if they were long term friends that nothing had ever happened with.

He doesn't have to be up to anything, he is already disrespectful.

If they are 'pals' he's seeing and at times when he's not sure if he's available to see you then he is prioritising the 'female pals' over you. He's not available to see you but is to see his female pals. They (them) are more important than you.

Sounds like he assumes you're in the bag and no more effort required. He is happy to keep you around just in case he's at a lose end.

If its work, why would he refer to these women as friends? or maybe it is work but his overactive imagination and motivation is to cosy up to other random women to boost his ego.

Alternatively he just likes you second guessing and insecure.

Yes you're right to feel uneasy, he's meeting new female friends at their house, you've not heard much about, he's not being upfront where he's going only to slip up mention where he's been afterwards.

He isn't being honest telling you he doesn't know his plans, he wouldn't be spur of the moment everytime to just turn up at their house and if they are people he's met networking, they would go for a coffee but at their house that's weird unless it's purely for business reasons.

Thanks all.

Disrespectful is definitely sums it up for me.

The house incident was only once and more garden than house but still. In my opinion they'd be acquaintances at best and I don't think it's on.

I don't think he's cheating, I just don't like the way he's going about it.

In the example I gave about asking him if he had plans, and was busy so more just making conversation, what are too up to today etc.

Thanks for listening to my rambles. Think he's on his way out.

I was busy that was meant to say

People with respect for their partners dont hang out in private residences with members of the opposite sex. Only exception might be if they were long term friends that nothing had ever happened with

Nonsense. People can of course be friends with people of the opposite sex, even ones they’ve previously had a thing with, and friends hang out together.

I’ve got male friends, some of whom I’ve known for decades. I had a drunken ONS with one of them many years ago. We hang out together frequently (or at least did pre-covid) and socialise frequently, sometimes with his wife, sometimes without her. There is zero chance of anything happening again between us and us hanging out together is not and should not be a cause for concern or suspicion.

Do you think people in a relationship should not be hanging out in private residences with members of the opposite sex without a chaperone???

Go with your gut instinct - its always right
Mt ex had a lot of female friends - turned out they were more than just friends. He would have 'sleep overs' due to having 'one too many' it just did not sit right with me - affected my mental health too

I do think men and women can be friends.

However I think it's respectful to your partner to be open and transparent.

"Wouldn't say he's massively spontaneous either, I usually have to slot in around his diary".

Op, he sounds way too disinterested busy for a relationship right now. Whatever his career is , it could involve him networking /hosting/ entertaining etc. Point is, his career/current lifestyle does not suit you. Probably best you move on from this one and leave him to it.

I think you are making the right decision to end it.

Sorry but who goes to their colleagues house?
After work dinner or lunch with a gang or a v close colleague sure but garden / house..??