Anyone else dislike their immediate family more than like?

[RowYourBoatLifeIsADream]

Over the years and through the hurts I came to the realisation this morning in the early hours that I don't think I actually like any of my family anymore.
I don't live near them anymore and haven't for over a decade. It makes me sad that sometimes I'm glad of the distance and sometimes wish things were different but in reality they'll never be what I'd like.
I'm not going to detail all of the hurts but the last one was my (D???)M telling my immediate family about the birth of my first DC when I specifically asked her not to as I was really looking forward to it. I'll never be able to forgive her for that. Ever. Nail in the coffin relationship wise, well not NC but I'm going to put more distance in not physically as I'll have to move to the continent.
Anyone else have family they dislike more than like?

I dont have any advice but feel similarly and wish it could be different x

Yes I’m also in the same position and I really feel for you. I really wish it could be different but I’m also very low contact for my sanity and I think I’ve given up hope of things ever being different.

Don't get me started. If you don't play exactly to their script, you're persona non grata. And I'm sick of it, utterly fed up with it. All there seems to be is expectations of me, and us, and yet, somehow, it ain't never reciprocal. I expect nothing, and far too often, get even fricking less. Because that's my role, and my place in the food chain.

Thank God for 12,000 miles.

I felt like this for a long time, but then I realised/learned that family aren’t people you happen to be related to, they’re people you love and who love you, sometimes they go overlap and include people you happen to be related to.

Keegan Hirst put it much better than me.

I have a mum, my son had a wonderful grandma, two uncles and two aunts, the fact that we don’t share DNA is completely irrelevant.

It's taken me a long time, most of my life to realise that my family are basically not good for me and it is better that I don't see them anymore. This is due to dysfunction and defined family roles. I was brought up as the scapegoat so endured all sorts of humiliations and abuse so that they could seem normal. I was the bad one. It is a fixed role for life. It will never change.

After a lifetime of crap and through therapy I realised that actually I was/am the most mentally stable and normal. Time to get rid of the fuckers which I did. I don't really hate them anymore. I pity them.

Thanks everyone. It's reassuring that I'm not odd for feeling like this. My family are just selfish. They'll do things 'for you' but it's always used as leverage in the future. They're as emotionally supportive as a brick fucking wall.

Yes I feel similar OP. I haven't seen my parents or sister for 18 months, they live in Ireland and I'm in UK. I'm not remotely bothered.i really miss my little nephew but that's it. I never miss the rest of them or long to reconnect with them. Very long story but I don't really trust them, can't rely on them and get virtually no support from them. I've withdrawn emotionally as part of self preservation. It's really sad, and will never be enough, but I've mostly accepted it

You are not alone in this. Society has always dictated that you are supposed to love your parents and family but it's just not possible when they are abusive. Yours sound emotionally abusive. They don't make you feel safe and happy. You can't trust them. Letting them go is the sensible option for your mental health. Mine added nothing but took a lot. So much happier with them gone. Don't miss them at all but it takes a while to get used to being an 'orphan'.

Yep, me OP, although it hurts to write it down. I still love my parents but they are, for want of a better word, dickheads. They can never seen anyone else's point of view and have a narrow minded/sheltered view of the world. My dad thinks he's better than everyone else and has no time for me or my daughter. He regularly tells me his children are a disappointment to him. I hate my parents relationship. My mum has barely made a decision for herself in her adult life.
My brother is a heroin (ex?) addict and in total denial that any of it is his own making and my parents are terrified of him killing himself so they give him money left right and centre to help fund his 'lifestyle'. Depressing beyond belief.
I don't go overboard with any of them anymore.

Your definitely not alone OP, it's sad but some people are just twats and if your related it's abit harder to deal with.
I don't have the best relationship with my mum for various reasons, including favoring my brother, taking our credit in my name behind my back and then not paying it and letting it go to bailiffs, not leaving my step father whe he touched me inappropriately, the list goes on!
My brother is twat, he only gets in contact when he wants something (usually money) which my mum, aunt, grandparents provide him as he can't manage his finances and is in huge amount of debt. I have a relationship with my dad but he's also very selfish!
I love my in laws and concentrate on my relationship with them, my own children and my friends.

Feel the same. From an early age my sister always went out of the way to ruin my birthday - break my presents when I was young or just have a strop. This continued in to adult hood and every family meet up at Xmas or Birthdays were strained with a bitchy under hand comment to either me - my dad or mum - it could have been anyone of us targeted. Family meet ups had to be separate on a one to one basis which is ridiculous. Father is an alcoholic, can say un PC things about peoples appearance, weight and race. Lock down was a welcome relief and excuse not to see them. As they say you can chose your friends not your family