Have I made a mistake?

[SandBlaze]

I split up with my ex last July when I was pregnant as we argued a lot so our relationship got toxic. We didn't really message much but in November we agreed to be friends again (we were good friends before we got into a relationship) and it was fine. I gave birth in December and everything was fine. In March was decided to give our relationship another go. This time it was really good and we never argued or anything and he was a good dad to our son.

The issue is his ex, she kept messaging him on social media using different accounts as he had blocked her. She also messaged me saying he had been messaging her but she didn't ever have any proof and I believed my ex. She also kept saying she was pregnant with his baby (it was a lie as she admitted she was never pregnant). I also had her friends messaging and saying they were together etc when he was with me!

Last night I had enough and I split up with him, he said that we could still be together but just ignore them but the thing is I'm fed up with people accusing him of cheating.

I messaged him today asking if he still wanted to go to the beach with me and my son (that was our plan) and he said no, as he doesn't want us to be friends as he loves me.

I'm now wondering if I made a mistake by splitting up with him? As I want us to have a good co parenting relationship for our son if we aren't together.

There must be more of a back story to this situation? It seems very heavy handed to end a relationship, particularly one with young DC, because of unfounded allegations of cheating from an ex girlfriend who you already know to be manipulative and a liar.

Apart from the previous arguing, which you say no longer happens, what’s the relationship like generally? Could the cheating accusations actually be just the reason you’re telling yourself you’re ending things, and you just don’t want to be with him anyway regardless?

I’d agree with him on not wanting to do “family time” when you’ve told him you don’t want to be together. If he still wants to be in a relationship with you, that’s just going to torment him. You can still be good co-parents, parenting separately.

Our relationship was good. I do want to be with him but I got fed up of his ex constantly messaging him after he blocked her and her making up lies.

If you think his ex is lying then it's bizarre to split up with him over something so petty? If you really think she's lying then yes, you've made a huge mistake. Why split up with someone because they're being harrassed by an ex?

Unless you think there's some truth in what's being said? Which is obviously different. Could he have been cheating?

If 100% no then... Yeah, YABU. You have a kid together. Either you're committed and face things together or you're not? I don't know. I'd not throw away the chance to be a happy family unit for something so small as annoying messages from an ex. I'd support my partner if I 100% trusted him.

I also think it's pretty shocking to dump him for something that's not his fault and then send him a message asking him if he still wants to join you for a daytrip, and be surprised when he says no?

Well, yes, I think you have made a mistake.

But this is quite bizarre frankly. You are all behaving in ways I can't quite fathom.

Seems odd to split because ex is lying about him - you say you know she's lying. Playing right into her hands . Whole thing seems a bit bizarre

Is he willing to delete his social media for awhile?

Or make it so nobody can message him for awhile.

This can't be the whole story. If it is, then you are bonkers.

Why are you taking any notice of his ex? If he was with you at the time then clearly she or her friends are lying.
If the two of you have a relationship, then you need to develop some trust. I can quite see why he doesn't want to be just friends with someone who gives up on him that easily. How old are you? You sound very very young.

It doesn't quite make sense. You can't dump someone one day and then play happy families the next day. If you end a relationship with someone you shouldn't do it lightly - you need to mean it. Particularly the father of your child.

You can continue to co-parent but that doesn't mean spending time together parenting.

Surely there’s more to this story

This is a bit of a mess. The poor bloke got dumped due to someone else's lies? You cant play around with people like this. He is the father of your child. Have some respect for that. You cant just pick him up out of your toy box to play with when you fancy playing happy families. I suggest you make it permanent and co parent the best as possible. Allow access completely to your child and let the man build a great relationship without being pushed away all the time.

Is this real, becayse that’s shocking. He’s being harrassed by his ex so you dumped him? Seriously? Then asked him to go to the beach with you?