Do you never get over some exes?

[Strawbsandcream2]

Feeling incredibly sad today and missing my boyfriend whom I broke up with, or he broke up with me rather, almost 2 years ago. We didn't talk for a while thereafter and then we did and then we didn't again. It's been 6 months of not speaking at all and I know this is it.

I won't ever contact him again and I know he's unlikely to contact me. But I do miss him and feel so sad. I haven't met anyone else - and I know people will say covid - but it was like that pre-covid anyway so I can't see it changing any time soon.

Just feeling very sorry for myself.

I split up with someone acrimoniously 2 years or so ago. I won't get over it. I learnt to live with it. I have no intention of ever contacting him again.

You'll meet someone some day. Why don't you do a bit of on-line dating to get a fee;l for what's out there.You don't have to go on any dates if you don't want to.

I split with my husband of 24 years (five years ago). Not a day goes by where I don't think about him. I'd never go back to him but 24 years is hard to forget.

Concentrate on living your life, OP. You shouldn't need a man to make your life complete.

It's ok to remember, but try not to dwell.

I think it depends on your definition of ‘get over’. My first boyfriend and I split up nearly 20 years ago now and I still miss him. If we were both single then I’d love it if we could give it another go but we’re not and we can’t. Life goes on though, I have a great life, a wonderful partner and great kids. But sometimes I suddenly remember him and I endure a moment of quiet pain.

I split up with someone in 2011. I’ve got over the relationship but not his behaviour in the final weeks or how cunningly and spitefully he ended it. I don’t think about it every day but sometimes it’s as shocking and awful as it was when it happened.

Thank you. It’s awful when they treated you badly and it stays with you.

But equally it’s awful if you feel it could’ve worked or could work now.

I don’t even know why I miss him but I do, I think.

I try not to think about it too much. I know anything can happen and you don’t know what’s round the corner but I can’t shake the feeling that this is it for me and I do feel incredibly sad when I think of it.

Ive signed up to online dating...again. I’ll see how it goes.

I'm in my 50's - married, DC, divorced, but I still occasionally think about the man that ghosted me in my 20's. Never had a connection like it - no sex. I'd do it now just to know. I would know that man anywhere even now the chemistry was that strong. I'm level-headed but not over this. Luckily I dont think about it often!!

No. I've never felt enough for anyone to feel like that.

I do have a friend I feel like it about. One was a married man and his wife was fine with our friendship - he and I were really close. I loved him like a brother.

But he fucked it up by telling me he was in love with me and tried to instigate something more so I ended the friendship. That was about 2 years ago and I miss him a lot. Or I miss the friend he was before he did that. I'll never speak to him again.

His wife trusted he and I to have an above board platonic friendship and I was really cross with him that he both pissed on her trust and expected me to do the same.

I’m almost 50 and my ex from my 20s is the one that I haven’t gotten over. We had a crazy connection and he’s the only one I have ever totally clicked with. I have dated tons and none of them has the same effect on me. I would never get back with any of my exes but he is definitely an exception. I still think of him even though he ghosted me. I do wonder “what if” especially since I’ve been single or in unhappy relationships for many years.

I had a boyfriend when I was doing my postgrad, it ended badly. For years I would occasionally think I saw him when I drove around the town where my parents lived (he moved there!) you know how it is driving along in the dark and go past someone and your head says ‘oh it’s John’ Once I even went right round the roundabout to take another look but still couldn’t be sure. I still think about him sometimes. He always said my name was the one he was going to name his daughter since childhood. i wonder if he did. I have 4 boys think Matthew, Mark, Luke and how could I not use John? I didn’t but you get the idea. I’m glad I didn’t use John! I wouldn’t care to meet him now, I think it would ruin the memory.

There's every chance you will get over him and stop thinking about him.

You said it was like that pre-covid but the pandemic has been well over a year now and you haven't even been split up for 2 years! so that wasn't a huge amount of time for you to get over him initially before the pandemic hit!

I’m still living with my DH however our marriage is over and we are in the process of divorce. I know that I will never get over him. I think acknowledging this is OK and hoping it will help me heal over time.

He was my last chance of being a family, and being close to someone who knew me at my best. He was also the most well matched man to me that I’ve met in my life. However he didn’t treat me well and cheated on me. I think that is one reason why he will be so difficult to let go of, he didn’t want or need me as much as I did him. He’s happy to walk away from family. I wanted desperately to make a happy family unit and then sit back and welcome the grandchildren together.

Some people will break our hearts OP. It’s ok to know that. Some people will break them in a way that we will never fully recover from.

You don’t always get over someone, and why should you? You shouldn’t have to forget part of your life story. I still have a very deep wound from someone who left me 25 years ago, and I own it. It’s part of me. It won’t ever go away and I’m fine with that.

I left my ex fiancé three months before our 2012 wedding. I had suffered two miscarriages and we were both hurting, and I wasn't in my right mind, he moved abroad and now has a life there. I still miss him every day, and wonder what would have been, but I know it would never work.

I've got over it but there is someone I've never forgotten from 30 years ago. We have met up occasionally over the years as friends, so I suppose that fuels the flames a bit. My feelings are mixed as I split with him but I have never forgotten the amazing connection we had. I sometimes fantasise about reuniting (he's single now as far as I know, but I'm not) but then think about why I ended it and try to hold on to that.

I split with my first love about 8 years ago, I’m now married with a child and still think about him from time to time! I love my husband and would t trade but I don’t think you ever forget people you truly loved. I find I think about him if I’m feeling low or fed up as we had so much fun together and I was young, carefree, responsibility-free etc so it’s hardly a fair comparison on my current life.