DH threatened me

[ibs]

We had a huge row earlier and DH cornered me and dared me to repeat the last thing I'd said to him (I can't even remember what it was) then he threatened to hit me. He didn't but he looked like he was really trying to hard to control himself and seemed to pull himself away from me before he lost it.

It's the only time I've been scared of him. Maybe I am over-reacting.

Does this happen often?

Personally, I think the important thing is he didn't hit you and did restrain himself. However, this is by no means acceptable behaviour and you need to let him know in no uncertain terms that you will not put up with being threatened with physical violence and if it does it ever again, it will be the last time.

We're all only human and make bad decisions sometimes, I've wanted to punch my dp when he has upset me so much I don't know what to do but I never have and never would actually hit him. It was just a reaction to overwhelming emotions that I was feeling - and those damn pregnancy hormones!

You make it quite clear to him that this must not ever happen again or he is out. And mean it.

Blimey is it a full moon or something. There is another thread here about a couple bashing each other!

That's not acceptable behaviour and he needs to know if that ever happens again, even threatening to hit you is enough for you to leave.

You poor thing, you must be in enormous shock right now?

No, I doun't think you're over-reacting. You say you've never been scared of him before but does he usually 'win' arguments? Do you generally give in before he gets too angry?

It also depends a little bit, I suppose, on how many rows you have, and what about (obviously you don;t need to detail them on here if you don;t want to) - it might be a slightly different matter if this particular row was about whose turn it was to put the bins out, than if it was about one of you having had an affair, or criticising each others' families (not that either of those things make any kind of violence OK).

What is he doing now? Has he gone out? Is he sulking? Has he apologised? Basically you have to look at it in the light of what the rest of your relationship is like: if he;s been verbally bullying you and it's escalating then you need to think about putting a stop to it or getting out: if it was a total one off over a sensitive subject then you both might need to talk it over with an outsider or work on some coping strategies... Hope you can sort it out.