Does anyone else feel like this re. Dating apps

[luciferonearth]

Dating sites are the norm these days, and I'm never surprised when someone says they use Tinder or OLD or whatever. But when it comes to myself, I think I would be too embarrassed to go on there. As if people are thinking 'wow, she is pathetic and believes men are going to find her attractive, what a delusional cow'.

It's weird because I don't think they about others, but I would be mortified if someone saw me on one. I'm currently in the middle of a separation from a loveless, verbally abusive marriage (it's been dead in the water for a long time, but that's another story), and I would like to meet someone one day but in reality that's unlikely to happen in 'real life' as I have no social life or chances to meet people. So dating apps would be my only real option. Do I need fo just get over myself?

Yes you do.
Nobody will bat an eyelid. It's no big deal.
Just take your time, and maybe see it more as having fun, getting out and about, a way of widening your social circle than finding the love of your life, it will take the pressure off.

in reality that's unlikely to happen in 'real life' as I have no social life or chances to meet people

Wouldn't it make more sense to work on not having a social life, rather than just hand-waving it as something you don't have?

Otherwise even if you find a potential partner, you're hanging too much on that person - you make them the centre of everything, and that's really unhealthy - and it's too much pressure for a decent person and absolute gold for an abusive one.

Instead of focusing on dating, work on developing a social network, on making opportunities to meet new people as friends not just as potential dating material, and on having a social circle.

Loads of people are on dating apps these days. I met my husband on one 5 years ago and I think without them I'd still be single as I didn't have many opportunities as a single mum.

Yep, get over it.. My sister met her husband online, I met my partner in Match. As you love away from uni, young 20s when lots of people are single and you go out to lots of places, it is harder to meet someone who is single, ticks boxes and is actually attractive and fancies you. I know a lot of people say OLD is awful and full of time wasters or creeps but I actually met several lovely men for relationships of varying degrees of seriousness and only one or two idiots. It's quite fun to scroll through and if someone does look at your profile and thinks ugh no, well, you'll be none the wiser so who cares.

Go for it. I’m in my fifties, single mum, wfh full time now, live rurally so zero chance of finding a man otherwise. I’ve only had three dates so far but you never know - many people are lucky and find someone this way.

No women you know will see you so it's only going to be guys. And their thoughts when swiping are pretty much 'would bang' 'wouldn't bang' lol. So I wouldnt worry about it. Theres someone for everyone on online dating. You just gotta sift through a lot of shit first. But thus is life. And it's hard to meet people in the real world these days.

Wouldn't it make more sense to work on not having a social life, rather than just hand-waving it as something you don't have?

Tbh that's easier said than done. It's not like people my age (around 30) go to things like book and social clubs. People my age already have a social circle and they meet people through their existing circle (usually). I have tried to make friends by taking up hobbies etc but the people are usually decades older than me. Not that's there's anything wrong with older friends, but I wouldn't want to date someone in their 60s+

I worry about seeing local people on there like school dads from my kids school or something and feeling embarrassed