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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why am I feeling like this?

4 replies

Loupop677 · 28/05/2021 22:33

I split up with DDs dad 2 and a half years ago now after a lot of years of controlling behaviour were together 10 yrs. I was single for 5 months and met a guy but I started to see cracks appearing during lockdown and ended the relationship.

I've been spending a few random days with my ex and DD becuase weve been getting along, originally decided to get together every year for birthdays' Christmas etc. But as weve become really good friends we have spent time together at weekend taking DD to her lessons.

The last couple of months' I've started to become quite attached (he doesn't know this) and I never ever thought I would again. It's been getting me down. I've thought about him a lot. When anything good happens or bad hes the first person I want to tell. I've also realised that a lot of friends will let me down or are not around when I really need them.
I had some bad news about my auntie today and when I dropped DD off he seemed upset for me and listened to me talk over and over again. I just feel like he listens purely, and I know out of everybody if I needed anything he would be there Asap for me.

I don't know why I feel so attached all of a sudden

OP posts:
PinkSatinMoon · 29/05/2021 00:05

Familiarity ... you've had 10 years of it.. it's a hard habit to break 🌸

Custardo · 29/05/2021 00:08

@PinkSatinMoon

Familiarity ... you've had 10 years of it.. it's a hard habit to break 🌸
this. its easy to fall back into old habits - remember why you broke up.

sorry about your bad news

faithfulbird20 · 29/05/2021 00:17

You've been with him a long time. Maybe there are feelings there. Do you want to give him another go? How do you think he feels? Maybe he's changed?

Persephonespip · 29/05/2021 08:36

He’s on his best behaviour. Does he want you back? He must have good attributes otherwise you wouldn’t have fallen for him in the first place. And it’s right what pp say, familiarity is alluring. It is easy for both of you to fall back into the familiar dynamics of a toxic relationship, but unless he has truly confronted and worked on his controlling behaviour it is likely to re-emerge again at some point. Make yourself a list of reasons why you broke up and keep going back to it when you feel like this.

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