Sister didn't tell me she was in hospital

[pilks]

I'm I being unreasonable? My sister is in hospital and I only found out when my daughter saw her post on Facebook this afternoon. I thought we got on well but apparently she's been in since tea time yesterday. She's tried to ring me (7 hours after the post) but I'm so upset/angry/annoyed that I didn't answer in case I said something I'd later regret.

@pilks

I agree it's not about me but if she can find time to post on Facebook surely she could have messaged me? I

But you're making it about you

Which is way worse than her not messaging you 🙂

You're being an arse

Maybe she didn’t want to bother you with it? Maybe she’s not the type of person to let people know there’s something wrong until she knows how serious it is? I don’t tell family when I’m unwell until I know what I’m dealing with, no point at all them worrying for what could be nothing.

Err...she's in hospital. Have sonne sympathy. Maybe she had a few people to let know, e.g. childcare , employers etc so she thought the easiest way to let to others know is to post on FB.

I think you’re getting a hard time here OP, but I think YANBU. Face book is so impersonal and is usually a vessel for attention seeking at the best of times.

A quick text message takes seconds; if she was well enough to post on Facebook, a quick text is nothing . I don’t buy this “it’s one message to all” BS. You’re her sister.

I do think you were BU to ignore her call out of anger though.

@pilks

I agree it's not about me but if she can find time to post on Facebook surely she could have messaged me? I

So she is in hospital, and you're making it about you?

Without any other information, you sound a bit hard work

Hospital wifi and mobile signal can be awful and intermittent. Maybe she has been resting or undergoing tests rather than avoiding speaking to you.

@pilks

I agree it's not about me but if she can find time to post on Facebook surely she could have messaged me? I

I can assure you that being rushed into hospital is very stressful and having to tell the people you love individually is really hard. I imagine in that moment this was the easiest option.

Be kind

FFS, my sister is nowhere near the top of my list of people to contact in tough times. I've had hospital stays that I assume she has never found out about.

She's called you now anyway, so panic over.

I didn't tell my brother. I called my best friends & messaged with my mum (overseas) and my Aunt. The people I love the most. The people who would have been devastated if I'd died (emergency surgery)

I don't 'do' Facebook. I think I posted on here though (different name).

So I'd assume she doesn't see you as being as close as you think you are. Maybe be nice now, she's in hospital! And work on your relationship when she's well. Or just accept you're not close.

I think your OP has shown us exactly why she didn't call you straight away!
Maybe she's scared and you are highly strung?
Maybe it's not a big deal and you are highly strung?
You coming on here to vent and wonder for an explanation is on the same page as her going onto FB with her status update.
Is nothing private anymore????

When my DS was in hospital it was easier to post on fb than post people indiviually.

I imagine she feels pretty unwell worrying about who she does and doesn't offend should not be her priority.

I’ve been taken into hospital before and I never told my sister or my parents. I wouldn’t tell them unless it was serious.

I get you op.

Its telling everyone, even people she might not be that close to, before you.

Where is there any guarantee you would see her post?

I totally agree OP. It's all about you, and you are entitled to be angry and annoyed that your sister didn't ring you from the ambulance.

"Entitled" being the operative word.

Grow up.

Using this post to ask something I have 2ondered for years. I have been the person who doesn't tell my parents and siblings I am unwell because

1. Although I trust my younger sibling, I will be in "trouble" for telling her and worrying her with my parents
2. My older sinling will immediately tell my parents
3. My parents especially DF will turn it into how worried they are and then it will become about their health that I am making them unwell by pushing their blood pressure up etc. Conversely at the same time, my mum was quite annoyed with me the last time I was hospitalised and put on a drip for severe food poisoning as I think she thought I was faking and I left her with noone to help her around the house with the chores and making dinner and stuff (just after I graduated uni, I was living with them and always contributed to chores).

I always feel like I never actually get support when I'm unwell and I have to dance around everyone else's feelings about how my illness has made them feel that I just don't tell anyone as it's exhausting. Maybe OP's sister feels the same. Is that unreasonable?

I've been admitted and unable to use my phone for days at a time, to ensure the cat was fed, I did one call and asked that person to pass the info to others that needed to know, I couldn't make repeated calls or answer them.

I couldn't move from the neck downward so was quite restricted so I couldn't pick up the phone. I just needed to know that someone would look after the cats, I had several people that I should have let know and that I needed a bag brought to the hospital.

3 seperate friends sent many messages asking me various questions, did I see the Dr yet, .... And got frustrated that I wasn't answering calls or messages,

I was getting medical care and tests so that was my priority and I needed someone to dial for me. I was moved to a ward and had no reception and no WiFi connection,

friends still rang many times despite knowing that I couldn't move, to ask where I was in the hospital, I was frustrated with them as it was the same questions over and over which I didn't have answers to anyway but I was glad to know that they managed to coordinate enough once they copped on and brought me clothes, toiletries, laptop with dongle to watch TV on etc and agreed to coordinate as it wasn't about them at all. It had to be prioritized, cat, hospital bag, house safe and who else needed to know.

Your sisters priority has to be herself and sometimes FB us the easiest way if all your family are on it and it saves the repeated questions that may not have answers to.

I think assuming someone will see a Facebook post is mad

But if she didn't let you know, there'll be a reason and I'd be calm and open minded about it. FGS if she calls, answer and see how she is.

This clarifies where you are in her list of priorities-amend your life accordingly