Tell me about your second partnerships/ relationships... Similar to first or entirely different ?

[leadinmypencil]

I was married for many many years, was cheated on and husband left . Two years ago .
Once I'd picked myself up and worked on my part of the marriage failure and tended to the kids heartbreak , I put myself online and met my now boyfriend immediately.
We are together nearly a year .
I am gradually building trust and enjoy the relationship so much . I guess it's easy to enjoy it when there are no tied finances / child rearing and sex issues.
Sometimes I feel it's too good to be true..
So what about yours? Was your relationship/ partnership/marriage similar to your first? Do old habits die hard. Or is it entirely different? I guess I'm scared of falling back into a coercive/abusive situation where I was nothing short of a slave to my husband both as wife and mother...

My second is a million miles away from the first. My ex basically treated me like he was ashamed of me, kept me and as length and refused to have sex with me while simultaneously gaslighting me by swearing that he wasn't doing these things. In contrast, dp is truly my best friend. Obviously we argue sometimes like any others couple but I feel like he's truly my partner in a way my ex never was.

My first marriage, he was my first proper boyfriend. Started dating when I was 17. Got engaged at 19, married at 20. Had 2 kids whilst in our 20's. He did well with his career and in time we had all the trappings of huge house and new cars. I thought everything was fine. I found out 17 years in that he had been hitting on all my friends for years. I thought back, and there had been unexplained nights away and the penny dropped. He was marginally abusive at times, the odd slap or kick, although that was very, very rare. Took me 4 years to leave. Had to downsize and it was financial suicide, but his behaviour around other women didn't improve, so I left.

Once I was in my new home, I started OLD and met my current husband within 8 weeks! He was not wealthy at all, but everything else was good. We are still together 13 years later. Finances have improved massively and we now have a lovely home together and no money worries. He never flirts with other women, and wouldn't dream of laying a finger on me. I fancy him way more than I fancied 1st H. 1st H was short & skinny, current DH is very tall and built like a brick shithouse. We decided not to have children, as mine were 9 & 11 when we got together. I wasn't going back to the baby phase for anyone! The kids are now 24 & 22. My DD (22) lives with us and the 3 of us get along brilliantly, but, it was really hard going for the first few years "You're not my Dad!" etc.

Good luck

Pretty much the same as op re first marriage. Met my dh old after being single for 6 years. Similar to @KylieKoKo. We have been married for nearly 5 years.

Most first marriages (in my circle) failed due to the husband cheating. In every case, the guy was married in his 20's, and then late 30's realised he hadn't had enough sleeping around. I honestly feel more secure in 2nd marriage, as DH had years of playing the field before settling down.