My partner asked my attacker if it was true

[Cresida]

Sorry, I've posted this more than once because I don't think I posted it in the correct place the first time

I told my ex partner (while we were together) that I was sexually assaulted by someone we know. He’s not friends with the person but they know each other. Behind my back, while I was pregnant, he had a conversation with this person and asked them if they really did sexually assault me. Obviously the person denied it, he never told me he asked. I knew they had a conversation but my partner told me something entirely different from what was actually said.
The person who assaulted me was my landlord at the time. I went to pay rent in cash one day his first question to me was “why did you tell”. So I instantly knew what had happened.
I broke up with my partner that day and months later I asked him why he did that. His answer was “I wanted to get to the truth. You may be the kind of person that believes everything you’re told but I’m not so I wanted to know for myself if it was true”. 🙃 he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did.
I’m interested to know peoples opinions on this

yes because attackers always tell the truth

your ex is a total scumbag along with your ll

So he trusts the word of your attacked over you? Thank god you're no longer with him.

Was your ex always this much of a twat?

Massive betrayal. He sounds like a pig.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

Did he not see the irony in that? He doesnt believe everything he is told so has to check... and he checks by being told, by the one person who has every reason to lie?

Your ex sounds like a fucking idiot. You can feel secure living your life knowing that you are right and he was totally, completely, identically wrong.

What the hell was he thinking? Did he think the guy would go, "oh yeah, that was me, I assaulted her". Of course he would lie! And your ex believed what he was told; he just didnt believe you. That tells you everything you need to know about the type of person he is. Forget about him.

100% agree with this. Your bf doesn't have your back - ditch him

*it was meant to say idiotically not identically!

Well done for breaking up with him. I was not expecting that when reading the beginning of your post. Agree with pp that he is an idiot who is not in any way worry of you. You clearly have strong boundaries which is fab.
I'm really sorry that your attacker is still your landlord

• worthy

My initial thought was what a scumbag arsewipe, I hope she dumps him. I then read that you had dumped him.

Your partner should have your back, not be running off to your abuser and asking if it's true. Wtf!

You are well rid, got shot of a rotten apple there op. Good riddance to bad rubbish x

your ex is a shit
your attaker obs isnt going to tell the truth
i understand you are angry - but don't waste your time on these dickheads - focus on you, get better, get healthy - fuck those guys

Is the landlord still your landlord? You need to move if he is.

I think either your ex thought you were having an affair with the landlord and whatever happened was because you wanted that. Your ex didn’t trust or believe you. So he looked for evidence of your cheating on him.

Or

And I really doubt this but it’s possible: your ex thought that man to man that the guy would gentlemanly admit it so your ex could punch him. Landlord probably realised that (or suspected he was wearing a police wire to trap him into a confession TV style) shat his landlordy pants and denied all knowledge.

You’re best off away from both.

Thank you all for your replies. I am okay. The incident happened in 2019. He didn't think I'd cheated as we got together after the incident.
He just was so eager to involve himself in something that I didn't want to relive. Anyway we aren't together anymore. I wish I could turn back time and Unmeet him as that wasn't the only thing he did. Sigh. Anyway again thank you all for your well wishes xxx

That is absolutely horrendous and I am so glad you got away from him.

Horrible man.

Also, for you. I’m sorry that happened to you.

My first thought was "what the fuck".
My second thought was "well done you on dumping the arsehole"

However please consider reporting your LL to the police and moving out. I hope you and baby are doing ok

He was being massively unreasonable

@SleepingStandingUp

My first thought was "what the fuck". My second thought was "well done you on dumping the arsehole"

However please consider reporting your LL to the police and moving out. I hope you and baby are doing ok

Thank you. We're really good thanks. Yes I knew where was something I forgot to say, I did move out Dec just gone.

Additionally, I didn't report it to the police as the landlord was someone that was close to my family and I. So it would just be a lot of awkward conversations that I'm not ready to have.

You're well rid, OP.

Consider yourself lucky and waste no more time on him. He's as big a twat as your attacker.

Some people don't understand loyalty or decency. They're that thick. Glad u dumped him.