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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is this a bad sign

14 replies

Londongirl8 · 28/05/2021 06:30

I've rekindled a romance in the last three weeks. We were together for quite a few months last year.

This mans in his 40s but uses Facebook throughout the day. When we were together before he laughed at my memes. Mostly responded to any comments and liked my photos.

Nowi know this sounds childish because it's only social media. But I'm starting to think is he trying to keep me a secret or doesn't want people to either know I'm back or something.

I've only posted two photos in 3 weeks but he didn't like either. He's been liking other people's stuff we know including womens profile photos and quotes. No problem with him doing this stuff if it's just friendly.

He sent me a video of something funny But weird this week. Then posted it to his wall. So I commented on on his wall video something witty about seeing that more than once. He hasn't even liked the comment. Which again he would have before.

This is all making me think he's choosing not to interact with me Infront of people but behind closed doors he's the opposite. We are meeting again soon but I'm just a little bit hmm about it.

I know it's just social media but if he's choosing to ignore me on it but has time for others then is that a sign he's hiding me?

OP posts:

GertietheGherkin · 28/05/2021 06:34

Maybe just ask him?

JadedStrumpet · 28/05/2021 06:39

Yes it probably is childish, but I'd be suspicious as well. It's also really rude of him not to respond to your comment. I suppose there's a small chance he missed it but...

I would just ask him and see what he says. If be claims innocence but then still continues to ignore you on SM then you'll have your answer.

Original poster

Londongirl8 · 28/05/2021 06:49

Thanks. I'm painfully aware of looking insecure at this stage. I'm trying to be quite causal as we are not boyfriend and girlfriend again yet as we said we need to spend time together first and figure stuff out. But it definitely feels that he's doing it for a reason. Not really sure how to ask him without sounding pathetic if that makes sense?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 06:53

Honestly you can’t ask this as it really is going to sound pathetic,, because I’m sorry but it is. It’s been three weeks and you’re monitoring his social media usage and waiting for likes. Real life interaction is more important op.

I think this relationship has no legs if you’re this insecure a few days in. I’m sorry.

GertietheGherkin · 28/05/2021 06:58

@Bluntness100

I think this relationship has no legs if you’re this insecure a few days in. I’m sorry.

I have to say I agree with this. 👍

ShinyBlackBoots · 28/05/2021 07:02

I agree that real.life interaction is more important but I would alsonsay that, in my experience, if he is ignoring you on fb that is because he is ignoring you 'publicly'.

It might be that he wants to check it has legs before being 'public after you already broke up last year and it's only been 3 weeks. It might also be because he's hiding you and keeping his options open.

If things are OK in real life it would be strange that he is ignoring you in a public forum.

ShinyBlackBoots · 28/05/2021 07:02

But yes I also agree it has no legs if you're feeling insecure so soon.

HollowTalk · 28/05/2021 07:19

You're not boyfriend and girlfriend - does that mean you're not sleeping together?

peboh · 28/05/2021 07:36

I wouldn't really put any extra thought into it. He may just feel that now you're hanging out again he'd rather just talk to you over text/phone/in person rather than social media.

ShinyBlackBoots · 28/05/2021 07:57

I don't thinknits the lack of communication on sm she's bothered about, more than lack of 'acknowledgement'.

I get it. I don't 'like' r comment on photos/posts often but I don't engage with sm much in general. That's my pattern of behaviour. If it is his and it's different with her then there's a reason for that.

Sunflower1970 · 28/05/2021 07:58

So glad I ditched Facebook. Tying to justify your life with likes is rather sad. You should be out living your life instead of clinging onto an acquaintance

Umberellatheweatha · 28/05/2021 09:12

Trust your gut.

For all you know he could be doing the same to other women and they're also sitting wondering why he isn't responding to them on facebook when theyve been dating for a month.

It's a typical player move.

I'd be a dick and be like 'hola babe, you fancy steak for the date tomorrow or should we get takeaway?' or something similar as an actual comment on his page. Ideally when you know he wont see it for a while. Eg: 2am this morning. See what responses come up. Or if he deletes it and gives you some shity excuse as to why.

Cba with gameplayers.
If he is actually into you, you'll get a happy response about steak. And if not, at least you'll know.

Umberellatheweatha · 28/05/2021 09:18

Oh and you could add 'my phone is playing up' if you want to excuse the comment. But basically adapt it in any way to suit. One that makes it obvious you are seeing eachother. And see if he panics and deletes it.

premium77 · 28/05/2021 09:36

You’re purposely posting on his page for others to see, to mark your territory and test his response. You’re not even back together and you’re already playing silly games. This relationship is not meant to be.

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