Hi.
I’ve been on here before just after my wedding in 2019.
Long story short we had a happy relationship, a child and had been together for years. After the wedding it all changed
The honeymoon was like pulling teeth
He told me the spark had gone a few months into being married
He had said he didn’t find me attractive anymore
And lots of other sad things which led me to ask on here what had happened to my life?! On top of all this I was 4 months pregnant with the baby we had tried for years for
Anyway the netmums response was right there was someone else it came out in months to come (Oct 2019) a girl at work. A 19 year old 😷 and they had an emotional affair. It bothers me I’ll never know more but they were meeting up and he was dropping her home and doing overtime with her etc.
He asked me to get an abortion. I’m so pleased I did not as I have my rainbow baby who’s now 1 and my beautiful 5 year old. Anyway!!
That’s the background we resolved it I forgave him after he stayed at his parents for a week. We were as good as new. The baby came. We celebrated one year married and the whole spark thing came up again
Hes unhappy
I had no hobby’s (lockdown and a newborn. Go figure...!)
We had nothing in common
I very calmly told him I can’t do this again. If he wants to go let’s stay friends and he cried and apologised.
Fast forward another 6 months he’s acting shifty. I’m heart broken thinking omg here we go again. I’ve put it down to mental health struggles so far I guess but it’s got me down all of this marriage stuff surely it’s not normal for him to be saying it and trust me we have an easy happy marriage. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants.
I confronted him. He was unhappy again. He had gotten us in £1,000s of debt. And he actually left and said he can’t see us ever working. His parents knew about the debt he had worked up and never told me which I felt betrayal due to being close to them.
We’ve gotten through it and I’ve learnt to be independent but try my hardest to make us work. I accidentally got pregnant when we got back together and had to have an abortion. I was on the fence but I’ve only ever wanted two. That’s another story.
I’m a giving, hard working, loving soul with rose tinted glasses!!! Someone please tell me what to do as I’m so stuck. I’m not perfect but I try damn hard and am loyal and loving.
Fast forward to the start of this month. Almost another 6 months on to the day. It’s like a sick nightmare..
He was off with me and the kids. I’ve just started my career I love and have done two degrees for!! And I feel that happiness was tainted with him yet again saying he’s unhappy!!! Why doesn’t he leave me ?!!!
Hes unhappy but he loves me. My heart hurts. What do I do. Why is this happening. I can’t waste my young years being put down every 6 months.
This time his reasons are
He wants different things
He doesn’t think we have much in common
Etc etc again.
He’s soooo nice. Like the old him before marriage after he says all these things about why he’s unhappy mainly aimed at holes in me and us. I’ve tried everything. Honestly I don’t want to loose my family unit but what can I do. I feel down trodden and I should be happy. I have everything I ever wanted.
Anyone been in this same situation.
Should I run for the hills
Try again
is this normal?!
Thank you. Sorry for my rant. Just so hurt and confused xxx