Husband ( separated ) met someone else

[Bebe2021]

My husband i have been separated from has met someone else. I also met someone about 6 months ago but kind of kept it all casual as i had it in the back of my mind that a reconciliation might happen ( we had mentioned it a little now and then but never got i to it). Im feeling extremely anxious and sick as he is now posting online pics etc. I know it doesn’t mean its a serious relationship but still its made me wonder about my future/ choices. We have a 10 year old daughter also. We both get allng very well no arguments or anything. We just felt we had grown apart. I feel like given effort and councillor input we might of been ok.

Anyone else had similar

@Bebe2021

Thanks for all the comments i was hoping to hear off anyone who had had a similar situation.. and outcomes from trying again? I have just spoken to my ex and explained my feelings and worries which already has helped. It may seem passive but we have both always been 100% committed to zero animosity for the rest of the family and our dd. As i say we have never fallen out

Not arguing is not a sign that there are no problems. If you both go out if your way to avoid conflict, unspoken issues can be a breeding ground for problems.

What have you done together to address the fact that you've been separated for 18 months?

I met my DP about 9 months after exH moved out. He met his (now ex) GF shortly after. I know it was weird for us both at the time but not because we wanted to get back together. Just that sense of an end of an era, I suppose.

To me OP reading your posts it sounds like he’s been letting you down gently and had no intentions of ever rekindling things with you sadly.
Stay on amicable terms with him and accept that he’s moved on, seek support to do that if you feel it would help. I don’t mean that in a you need your head examining/ you need therapy way, so please don’t take it as an insult. I simply mean that talking to someone sometimes can help you understand why you feel how you do and help you move forwards more quickly than you doing it alone.

I feel sorry for your new BF in a way, I don't suppose you have informed him that you are still hoping to reconcile with your ex? Then on the other hand, it's exactly why I would never get involved with someone who is just separated, so that was his choice and his risk. You say he's nice though, so why not concentrate on him rather than mooning over the past?

It’s been 18mths, did you think he’d hang around until you somehow fell back together?
Maybe with effort and counselling you say, but neither of you tried anything.
Move on, treat your new guy better and not as a stop gap.

I personally know of 2 couples who were married, separated, and divorced.
Your circumstances, @Bebe2021, and theirs, are of course distinct from each other, but both couples reunited and one couple remarried.
I'm not saying that will be the case with you, but it can happen.....

Are you feeling this way because you actually want him back, or you’re just not happy that he’s with someone else/has moved on from you?

You started a casual thing first, did you think he was just going to wait until that fizzled out and you went back to him?

I’ve been with men that didn’t want to necessarily be with me, but didn’t want anyone else to either. This is sounding a little like that. Reconciliation takes effort - and it doesn’t seem like either one of you has wanted to make that effort.