Husband just wants a 'quiet life' he's 39 years old...

[JC2021]

Hi All,

I've posted on here before.. me and my husband are due to start couples counselling as we have a number of issues that resurface in major blow outs every few months.

when it comes to our son, who is just over 2.5yrs - our son loves his dad, tells him so many times a day and seems to want all of his positive attention all the time - much less so mine.

our boy has strong emotions and i know at times my husband can't quite deal with it.. he says things like 'what is this?' 'what is he doing?'

very emotionally immature..

also says 'I just want a quiet life' what on earth does that mean.. often 'joking' that myself and our son exhausts him.. i said 'shouldn't have kids then if you want a quiet life' to which he replies 'but i didn't know'.

???

i dislike him more and more.

bottom line, he is very lazy and opts out of the harder tasks. he disappears or will busy himself somehwhere else who things get tough. when i say dislike him, these are the things - attitudes and behaviours that i dislike. everything constantly looks too much for him, my son is brilliant, not naughty and listens well. he is well behaved just has an old soul and a big spirit.. yet my husband walks around in a daze, refused therapy (until now) and acts like a child himself.

yes parenting is tough and we are tired most of the time, but he also gets more free time than i have had in a long time.

i too need space, which i get when our son sleeps. we have had no support and no time together, so i guess that is where resentment comes in we don't have family nearby and he isn't in nursery until 3. i said we should find a childminder / babysitter until then, but he doesn't want a 'stranger looking after our son' fair enough. that just means i/we do it and won't have time together.

i agree counselling on my own might be best.