Surely I should be over him by now.

[Jojojo32]

Hi all help me understand my feelings please. I've been broke up from my ex since Xmas 2019,i just knew it was over his drinking attitude Billy etc was just to much. He then went on a drinking binge which stopped in September 2020,he hasn't drank since. In that time he's manged to produce another baby with an old flame due anytime now🙄they ain't together was just abit if fun. I felt like I was over him when we broke up and that 1st Yr I was happy. Since around Xmas he has been on my case every single day about giving it ago again he's changed he dosent drink bla bla bla. I do ignore him 90%of the time, I'm not stupid I know I would be crazy going back to him and yet I've spend allll day thinking about why hasn't he text today he texts everyday I'm constantly thinking he is with his new baby mum. Why do i think and feel this way?? I would never go back there but I still feel like what if, if that makes sense. We was together for 6 yrs. Why do i still care 😩

It will make it much harder by being in daily contact. Block him, then you will get over him much sooner, you can't get over someone who keeps pestering you all the time to get back. It sounds like his life is messy, just leave him to it, no contact is the only way.

It was probably nice to have attention. If that stops abruptly that can be hard. That’s just ego speaking though. You don’t want him op- remember that!

We have kids so can't block him, it's hard when he fills my dead with stuff. Just csbt switch of today 😩

Block him on everything bar one method of contact. Ideally a burner phone that u only use for him. Dont reply to anything unless it is child related and necessary. Check the phone once per day maximum (unless waiting on reply regarding the kids). Never let him in your home again. Ideally have a relative do your kids pick up and drop offs.

Just because you have kids with him doesnt mean he has to be a big part of your life. Stop giving him time and in turn, headspace.

See I done this when we 1st broke up I ignored him I was happy and feeling more like myself than I ever have in a long time, but slowly he has worked his way into my head again. I feel like I've gotta start again and it's sooo consuming. Itts hard when someone is saying everything I've ever wanted but in reality it would be so different.

He sounds completely unappealing in every way, shape and form. He’s a drinker and he’s impregnated a ‘former flame’ who he’s no longer with. He’s about to become a Dad, hardly a catch. Just block him on everything and focus your mind elsewhere.

Sorry, just seen you have children. Tricky. Focus on your DC, work, running the house, whatever it is you have going on. Contact a friend or relative or read a book/watch TV if you ever find yourself thinking about him and wanting to contact him. He sounds really gross, sorry you’re stuck with him around but don’t go back to someone who impregnated someone else the minute your back was turned.

But you know his words are worth shit. And even if they were not, you've been there and got the tshirt.

You know you can do it because you already have. Sometimes I fall off the diet waggon. So what? I just get back on it. Its not easy, it's not fun but I know I can do it because I have in the past. And the result will be a much healthier life for me.

Just make your choice and stick to it.

Don't think what if, think what you know is true, too much has happened for it to go back the way it was even then he was a drinker, even if he says he's not now, people have a habit of settling into their ways again, the baby thing I could never get past. Only contact about the children and that's it.

Thanks ladies, gunna start a fresh tomorrow I left cos I wanted better for my children I've gotta remember that. I just don't know my next steps, I've got a new job I'm seeing my friends more n yet he's still in my head. I have tried online dating but I'm just not interested in holding a convo. I feel like I'm stuck 😔