Help! Breaking up but live together

[rainraingoaway94]

Name changed for this, not sure why I did that really but I am scared I suppose.

I've been living with my boyfriend for only a few months but I've been feeling like we should break up. Nothing overly wrong in the relationship - we just don't have good discussions anymore, we argue and bicker a lot, we aren't intimate, I'm just feeling strongly that it isn't right and I'm not sure I want to stay.

How do you navigate breaking up with someone when you live together and have shared possessions, not to mention 6 months left on the tenancy... I don't have family nearby. Should I stick it out for the next 6 months? Talk to him and discuss it? End things now so I'm not wasting his time (or mine)?

In hindsight we shouldn't have moved in together. However, I'm not sure I would have realised this relationship isn't right if we hadn't.

I should also say, I've thought about this before (ages ago) and then had a change of heart. I need to go with my gut, don't I?

Yes I think you do.... Will he definitely want to stay till the end of the tenancy? If so would you be in a position to stay or rent somewhere else, it'll be very awkward and probably stressful otherwise (although I understand it might not be possible financially) good luck to you, these things happen and it's good you know now and arent going to waste his time, better to be honest

Thanks @Ripley1977

Neither of us are in a position financially to rent elsewhere unfortunately. I have thought of a few options but it's tricky. Lots of my friends have suggested I wait a while and see if things improve but I know in my heart this relationship isn't right.

You know you should end it, don't you. I would warn though, have a think about how you will manage things if he decides not to stay. I know you said neither of you could afford to rent elsewhere but what if he decides to stay with a friend for a while? Would you be able to afford the rent alone? Do you have a spare room that you could let to a lodger to make up the rent? I know he may have signed a tenancy agreement but it will be tricky to make him pay.

I don't want to put you off- just want to prepare you for something you might have to deal with.

Thank you @wingsofsteel definitely something I need to think about. We do have two bedrooms so I think if that happened someone else could make up the rent. I'm scared - I may put it off for a while. I don't want to waste his time though. I feel like I have got myself into a not great situation.

If it's got two bedrooms then you're sorted. One of you moves out and the other ones a lodger. Who's account does the rent money come out of? They should probably be the one to stay.

The other person can look to BE a lodger elsewhere.

Unless you think you can split and remain amicable in separate rooms for the next 6 month. Wouldnt be me though.

*the other one gets a lodger

I had to live with my ex for 18mths - due to finances and DC. The split was fairly amicable but it was still very stressful - setting and sticking to boundaries. There's also that feeling that once you set it in motion (have the convo) then you just want it done. I wouldn't put it off, you'd be living a lie. He might be thinking the same as you, you never know!