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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Too soon to meet the parents?

7 replies

meetingtheparents · 24/05/2021 23:10

I came out of an emotionally abusive relationship just before Christmas, and have spent a few months on my own dealing with everything and getting to know myself again. I've signed myself up to hobbies and I've started spending lots of times with friends and family and generally feel like I am in a really good place.

I met a man online at the beginning of March, we began casually seeing each other, and over the last month (with things opening up) we've begun seeing each other around 3 times a week. I really enjoy his company and he seems like a lovely man, we live close, we both have DC from previous relationships. Everything is going well so far.

For the last couple of weeks he has seemed quite smitten. He has told all of his family and friends about me, I've met his friends, he's booked us a few nice things to do together over the next couple of months. It's all heading in a really good direction. Today he invited me to a dinner with his parents and siblings. I do really like this man, but I'm feeling a little worried it might be too soon? I've known him for 3 months in total, but it's only been in the last month that we've started seeing each other more regularly and less casually. I hadn't even thought about introducing him to family and friends yet to be honest, obviously they know of him as I have told them I am seeing someone, his name, age, what he does for a living etc. but I wouldn't have thought to introduce him just yet.

We're both in our late 30s and have discussed what we want from life and relationships. All seems to align. Does this timeline for meeting the parents seem 'about right'?

OP posts:
seensome · 24/05/2021 23:21

I would also think a bit soon especially with your children meeting? If just the parents and they are already expecting you then I guess go along only if you feel comfortable.
Does make me squirm a bit tbh it's only been a month of being with him regularly, you're still in lust and getting to know each other, you don't know yet if it can be long term right now until you learn more about each other.

With the children all meeting, I would hold off, I hope everything works out but just incase, there would be some awkward explaining to them if you break up.

motogogo · 24/05/2021 23:22

I did on a similar timeframe, but it felt right

meetingtheparents · 24/05/2021 23:25

No children meeting yet. There's no way I would let that happen until at least the 6 month mark. And even then I'd be extremely cautious as they'd met ex-dp and that only ended before Christmas.

OP posts:
seensome · 24/05/2021 23:29

I think that's very sensible, well go along and meet them but don't feel under pressure for him to meet yours until you feel more confident in the relationship.

premium77 · 25/05/2021 09:29

I think meeting family is low stakes so even though it’s soon it won’t be detrimental if you ended up breaking up. However, definitely hold off on meeting the kids.

WimpoleHat · 25/05/2021 09:31

I agree with @premium77 - meeting the parents isn’t a huge deal in and of itself. If you break up with him the day after, everyone’s an adult and knows what is what. It’s the kids meeting which is the big deal.

ClaryFairchild · 25/05/2021 09:37

If he has strong ties with his family I can see why he would want to introduce you. Also, it's good to see how he treats other important people in his life. Right now he's doing everything to impress you - meeting his family will give you a better idea of what he's really like.

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