Do I tell him I’m pregnant?

[Worriedandscurd]

So my ex and I have a child together.

I got pregnant again when our baby was 4 months. I ended up having a miscarriage then an infection. We split up. I wasn’t on any contraception because I wasn’t having sec. we recently had unprotected sex while drunk. I know how stupid that was. He asked me in the morning if I was on anything, I told him no. We had sex a few more times. I then started the pill. I’ve been really really tired and sick, I mentioned these symptoms to him but he never said anything. We’re not back together. I just took a test and I honestly don’t know what to do. Do I tell him? I’m so so so scared of his reaction. He’s going to hate me, I know we were being stupid.

Op you need to tell him only if you choose to have the baby. Before then take your time and make your own mind up.

I think it sounds like you’re going to keep it regardless so yes tell him.

Of course you should tell him. It is also as much his doing, as he could have insisted on using condoms, and no-one forced the drink down him.

If he'd only use it as a stick to beat you with then don't tell him. Have a termination and think of this as a wake up call to kick this idiot out of your life once and for all.

I know if I tell him and I’m getting a termination he will just throw it back in my face and not be supportive. I keep waiting for him to care but he just doesn’

Right, well then obviously don't tell him unless you're definitely keeping it then! Why would you even consider telling him before you've made a decision, if the above is true? It would be ridiculous.

Because then I feel guilt. It’s his baby too

It's not his decision.

He isn't a stable influence in your life.

He isn't supportive of you when you need support.

You are 'so so so scared' of his reaction to you getting pregnant when you both chose to have unprotected sex.

Presumably as an adult, who already has a child, he is aware than unprotected sex can result in pregnancy.

You're scared of his reaction to something that isn't surprising at all. That says it all. Telling him would be stupid.

Don't feel guilty for not telling him but do take responsibility in your own mind for the fact you chose to have drunken sex with no protection and then did so a few more times the next day when you were sober. Why did you do that if you don't want to be pregnant by him?

You have a responsibility to your existing child to not behave so recklessly. As does he - you both do.

It doesn’t sound like he wants another one with you, harsh but true. So getting emotional over it being “his baby” is pointless.

@Worriedandscurd

No I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. I’m not saying how he feels will influence my decision. I’m just saying I’m waiting for him to care about me as a person. Which he won’t. So nothing good will come from telling him about my termination. It’s not like he will support me through it

Sorry to say but you did get pregnant on purpose, you had sex numerous times and didn’t take any precautions, what was you expecting to happen?

He willingly had sex with you multiple times knowing you weren’t on any form of contraception, nor did he choose to wear a condom.

He already knows you are likely to be pregnant...

A termination is already an unpleasant experience, so I wouldn’t tell him because then he will have the opportunity to make this experience a LOT worse for you by being ambivalent, unkind, or ignoring you entirely.

You did get pregnant on purpose, you had unprotected sex numerous times. As a one off drunken mistake, fine but you take the MAP the next day and hope for the best. You didn’t do that, you continued having unprotected sex with him numerous times and now it’s somehow a shock you’re pregnant?

If you want to terminate, I wouldn’t bother telling him. If you want to keep it, you definitely have to tell him. It’s kind of as easy as that really. He can’t get angry because he chose to have unprotected sex.

Choosing to repeatedly have completely unprotected sex is trying to conceive. It’s ok to change your mind and abort, is it in the best interests of another kid to be burdened with this sperminator as a parent? He has impregnated you three times so far and yet you’re ‘waiting for him to care’? What’s it going to take for you to realise?

@Worriedandscurd

No I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. I’m not saying how he feels will influence my decision. I’m just saying I’m waiting for him to care about me as a person. Which he won’t. So nothing good will come from telling him about my termination. It’s not like he will support me through it

Erm, yes you did 🙄