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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship with a partner who has depression and anxiety

10 replies

SugaPlumFairy30 · 24/05/2021 19:34

Ok bit of a long story but I will try to keep it short. I need an outsiders perspective!
Me and my partner don’t live together never have we can’t afford it!
we got together 3 years ago he has 2kids previous I had 1. Since covid he hasn’t been allowed to see his other 2 after nearly a year now he barely asks about them or to speak to them which I find odd!
We had a baby 2 years ago he got made redundant last year an I started a job since then he said he would be a SAHD however he has depression an anxiety and since last year we have seen him less an less. The days he was meant to help there was always something wrong or he felt out of sorts so to begin with I just let him get on with it as it was to do with his illness i just try to accommodate him an I wold try to find alternative childcare, however he was still able to see his mates just not help me. Fast forward a bit I put LG in nursery 3 full days he has her 2 but all he does is sits on his phone all day ignoring her then gets annoyed when she stars crying or misbehaving, he complains he has no money but is on UC an is always asking to borrow some for weed an also expects a lift home. He leaves as soon as I finish work. An we don’t see him on weekends. I don’t know how he can not care about his child he never asks about her. Recently she has been poorly but instead of asking is she ok he told me about his shit sleep an how I’ll he feels! I’m so exhausted I just don’t know what to do. Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed? Should I do more because of his depression? I just don’t know.

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 24/05/2021 19:36

Find alternative child care..
Find a better bf.
Don't look back..

SugaPlumFairy30 · 24/05/2021 19:40

Grin I know I just feel bad because of his depression but I just feel so drained from work an the kids on my own 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/05/2021 19:40

Your boyfriend is a lazy, useless twat. Depression isn't his problem, lack of moral compass and work ethic is.

Honestly, take the blinders off. This man is horrible.

Singlenotsingle · 24/05/2021 19:43

He's self-centered and doesn't care about you or the dc. LTB.

Aprilwasverywet · 24/05/2021 19:45

Ime there is a fine line between depression and Twatism.. Your bf has well crossed it imo..

andivfmakes3 · 24/05/2021 20:04

Why couldn't you "afford" to live together? People tend to not want to live together because it will reduce their benefits?

Anyway. This isn't a relationship and I can't believe you bought a child into this. Cut your losses and end it

Shoxfordian · 24/05/2021 20:08

He’s a loser
Ltb

SugaPlumFairy30 · 24/05/2021 20:16

The rent in my area plus child care on top is far greater than what I earn I am currently living with my parents. He lives with his.

OP posts:
PussInBin20 · 24/05/2021 20:17

So he leaves when you finish work, expects a lift home and you don’t see him on the weekends? So when do you see him then?

Not much of a relationship is it?
Wake up and smell the coffee !

Pessismistic · 24/05/2021 22:11

Op do you know how many people have depression and anxiety and still care for there children? You are making excuses for him hes lazy and very very selfish seeing as he doesn't see his other dc why will he care about yours? Please don't stay with him because of his depression if everyone who had it acted like this way the world would stop people are capable of caring and taking care of dc but someone stoned not so much good luck op.

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