When do you know its done for good?

[gothicmummy]

My on/off bf and father of my child has left me again today, when we argue he jumps straight to calling me vile stuff and wishing he never met me etc. He goes away for a few days/weeks then comes back and this has been happening for the last few years,I'm a mug for allowing this to keep happening and I really want to break the cycle but I don't know how. I don't really have friends anymore, I have no one really to talk to about anything. Sorry for the rambling feeling abit down

Take away his power. Lock the door. .. Tell him what days dd will be available for contact. Have a friend there. If he kicks off you ring the police.
Tell him you will seek legal advice if he hassles you.
And claim Cms.

Change the locks and don't let him back in when he inevitably comes back.

(Although whose house is it?)

Why do you put up with it?

Do you not have any friends any more because of this relationship?

@category12 no I moved away many many years ago so we all drifted apart i have one or 2 friends but none that I feel comfortable discussing my problems with and the house is mine

@Singlenotsingle that is a good question that I don't fully know the answer too, the whole 'love' spiel seems to be overused but I guess it's the truth but at the same time I can't continuously allow this.

Its done for good when you decide its done for good.

You have autonomy over your own choices and who you allow in your life.

Change the locks.

A man who calls you names should not be around you at all. Let alone if there is a child present to see this.

Time to start taking responsibility for your life and your decisions op. No one else is going to make things better. He is never going to become a decent human being. And your child is replying on having at least one healthy, happy parent to show them how life should be lived (Free from abuse).

What is there to love about someone who abuses you?

It's within your power to end this cycle but you have to be willing to make a choice to do so and then follow through.

If you helplessly wait for something magical to happen to take it out of your hands you'll stay stuck and stay feeling helpless and miserable.

You say you really want to break the cycle. That's all it takes - the relationship is done.

Are you in rented or owned accommodation? Whose name is it in?

Oh sorry I misread your second comment. Do you mean the house is yours?

In which case there's not really any excuse to keep allowing him back to do this.

It's down to you. Nobody can do it for you.