Resentment/Regret

[WitchesCauldron]

I'm being a bit vague as I don't want to identify anyone. Menopausal mum, had kids young and now feel a lot of resentment and regret that gave up so much. Partner has dynamic career which doesn't help. All 3 kids all grown up and doing well, but let's be honest they don't really appreciate the sacrifices do they? Questioning my whole existence as I feel like now in my 6th decade I have missed the boat. Feel the only person suffering from this resentment is me . What makes it worse is that I had opportunities but passed them over due to crippling self esteem issues and insecurities. A cold unloving upbringing didn't help. Now I just feel sad, old and spend my days in a job way below my abilities whilst feeling envious of other younger people having careers. Wondered if counselling might help, but not sure if best for me or me and other half too. What sucks is I know if the tables were turned they wouldn't have made those sacrifices for me. So I'm left feeling what was it all for and wish I could turn back the clock. Advice pls.

I think you should be really proud of raising 3 adults. Of course they wouldn't sacrifice in the same way for you as they arent your parent. It doesn't mean it wasn't of value though. Every little thing you did counted

Your post resonates with me a lot op.

Peri-menopausal (and suffering) with 3 dc teen through to pre-schooler.

I have always supported my husband with the 'big job' and eventually gave up my job (way below my abilities due to crippling self esteem issues and actually now, I've discovered more in-depth mental health issues stemming back to childhood neglect/abuse) as my husband sometimes needed to work away and no support from extended family.

Heading rapidly toward 50. To be honest, I don't feel I have the energy to chase a career now and I always found the office politics to be shitty. Eventually, I got made redundant from a job I was really invested in - it was like all my hard work and knowledge counted for nothing.
However, I've realised I am bored and wondering what to do next (don't have to work as financially secure) so looking into volunteering and possibly a small on-line business plus plan to pursue hobbies and generally look after myself (because no-one else does).

My teen uses me as a verbal punch bag. I do on the whole feel taken for granted though have worked hard at parenting and do focus on this a lot due to my crappy upbringing. We are almost like an invisible army - I have been sneered at in the past for remaining a sahm.

My only advice would be to try to think about things you would like to do now op (a clue might be to look back at what you enjoyed as a child) and perhaps volunteer. I don't have the answers as I'm feeling similarly and kind of stuck in a depressing place but nevertheless trying to make plans to work out what it is I want to do (career aside).

You are not alone.

Any more thoughts Op?