Money left in a will

[caseycat]

Hello. I have changed my name for this as info is extremely outing.

About 30 years ago my MIL told us that a friend of hers was leaving everything to my DH in her will. She had no other family at all, was a single child of single children. My DH and I didn't take much notice, we hardly ever saw this lady or built a relationship with her and we certainly weren't counting on receiving any money. My MIL continued to be in contact with her, and helped support her to get carers in, have repairs done to her house etc. I don't know if she had legal power of attorney but she certainly had access to her bank accounts.

The lady died a few days ago, in her mid 90s, in hospital. My MIL told her other son but not DH. DH found out and rang her to ask if she was ok, as she has lost a friend. She bought up the will, and said that the money was to go 50:50 to DH and BIL, and that she and brother in law were going to sort it out. DH told DD and I. DD then says that she has seen the will within the last 9 months - MIL has been extremely unwell recently and all her important documents were put together in one folder that the family could all access - and that it only had DH as beneficiary. This would fit in with what DH was told years ago.

MIL and BIL are already proven liars when it comes to finances - she enabled him to hide funds from his first wife when he divorced her, and he asked DH to do the same, DH refused. The relationship between DH and BIL is very strained, he isn't a particularly nice person. and frankly nor is MIL. We aren't sure where to go from here, or how easy it would be for MIL and BIL to do something that goes against the will without DH knowing. I think that MIL and BIL will put themselves forward as executor of the wills.

DH is in two minds about what to do, part of him is thinking that he has never relied on getting the money so to receive anything would be a bonus. However, he is also uncomfortable with his family lying (if indeed they are). I have said that he needs to ask to see a copy of the will - he was told yesterday by MIL that she had lost it but that BIL was going to look for it - and take it from there. I don't think that he will be allowed to though. I am also concerned as DH has been very unwell recently (he has a life limiting illness) and when he is stressed he becomes ill very quickly.

Is there anything else that he should be doing? It's very strange because DH doesn't feel as if he "deserves" the money, he only met the lady 2 or 3 times in his life. However at the same time she chose to leave him the money and if she didn't change her mind, then surely her wishes should be abided by, both legally and morally?

If the will is ‘lost’ neither of them will have a claim on the estate as they are not family. If BIL tries to fraudulently aquifer funds gaining a copy of the will after probate is super easy so he will be found out. So I suggest you let them know that in the most passive aggressive way you can. Good luck tho gs can get nasty where money is concerned.

You can access a will online for £1.50..

Unless mil is an executor it is not within her control to do anything. The copy may not have been the final version. Once probate is granted it will be publicly accessible anyway.

I think its sad that someone could be so lonely to have to leave the money to a stranger. Its a shame your DH didn't reach out, knowing he was a benefactor.

Nobody will put themselves forward as an executor, as the executors will be named in the will.

If there is no valid will then this lady's money will fall to her cousins or ultimately the government.

They can't "Put themselves forward as executors", the will must name someone to be the executor . They can't just decide to do that after the person has died.

Oh dear, I’m afraid you sound very grabby!
First, if there is a will the executor will be named.
If there is no will the estate will follow the laws of intestacy, so your DH, his DM and DB won’t get a penny.
Second, your DH has no right to a strangers money, any he does get is a bonus.

I would just ignore the whole situation. Your DH is not entitled to a strangers money. Your MIL sounds bat shit crazy.

Just get on with your lives.

Quite sad that this lady left her will to your husband when you rarely met her or built a relationship.. now you want to inherit her funds.. your husband is right he should not accept her money I'd give it to an animal shelter instead if he is entitled to any

Thanks for the messages everyone.

I get what people have said about DH not being entitled to a stranger's money but IF he was left that money by them, then he is legally entitled to it. Morally it is a different issue, we get that. I think that this issue is more about his family lying to him (if indeed they are). There is a history of him being gaslighted by his mother in particular with regards to very important personal matters, and my fear is that this is just a continuation of it. I hope that I am wrong. It might be that he just finds out what the will says once probate is granted.

The reason why he deliberately didn't seek to build a relationship with the lady is he felt really uncomfortable doing so as it would have been just because she was leaving him money. He was 20 when all this started and honestly didn't care about it. It is really sad that she had no living relatives to pass the money onto.

If he does find that he is entitled to the money then I hope he will consider giving some to his mother who helped this lady in times of need.

Op, I get where you are coming from, DH’s family sound controlling, I don’t know much about wills but when I’ve heard of friends inheriting they have usually been informed by a solicitor that they have been named in the will.
I would sit back for now and if you don’t hear anything look at the will after probate.
She may have decided to leave here estate to your husband as he has a life limiting illness to allow him to more fully meet his own needs and those of his family should his health decline.
I hope this all works out in line with the lady’s wishes.

I really resent people being called grabby when they have made it clear that that is not the reason for the post!!

If it was me.... I know I couldn't afford to turn the money away but would make the best possible use of it! But whatever I did choose to do with it would be nobody else's business!

Regardless of entitlement or where is actually ended up, I would not allow people to get away with fraudulently appropriating someones estate!

You have little to no real idea why your husband was chosen as beneficiary if he was (could be as simple as she liked him or as complicated as he's her biological son, lol) but, there are all sorts of legal things (who/what/where/when) that only a solicitor should be tasked to deal with so you need to speak to one to have them advise and/or deal with the situation and then forget about it until necessary (for your sanity AND your hubbys). Good luck 🙏🏻

I don't understand some other posters. If he is named as the sole beneficiary of the estate in the will then he is entitled to the estate. That's rather the whole point of a will to make it clear who is entitled to what.

It's also important that the woman's wishes are adhered to. She wanted the money to go to OP's husband so it should. It doesn't matter that they weren't close, what matters is that it is what the woman wanted.

@Leonardsgirl

If he does find that he is entitled to the money then I hope he will consider giving some to his mother who helped this lady in times of need.

If the woman wanted OP’s MIL to inherit she’d have said so in her will. It doesn’t sound like she did.

I don't think the op is being grabby in the slightest. The lady wanted him to have the money and it's up to her. If she wanted his dm or his bil to have it, then she'd have left it to them.

Your dm and bil are effectively stealing off him. They are the grabby ones.

I don't know how your bil or mil can access the money if they aren't executor or in the will. I'd speak to a solicitor.

Only the executors named in the Will can administer the estate. If there is no Will or it is lost, then the intestacy rules kick in and the relatives are entitled to apply to be the administrators.

You cannot access the Will online. So, unless someone voluntarily gives you a copy of the Will, you have no way of knowing if DH is a beneficiary.

If you have reservations about the honesty of your MIL, you can wait until the executors/ administrators have obtained a Grant of Probate from the Probate Registry and then you can apply for a copy online. The Will will be annexed to the Grant.

If the estate has not been distributed in accordance with the Deceased's wishes, you can challenge the executors/administrators at that stage.

I’d stay well out of it, TBH.

The whole situation sounds a bit dodgy, and if he inherits any money then great, and if he doesn’t then never mind.

The lady is dead, he had no relationship with her at all so the ‘making sure her wishes are respected’ seems thin - the person who had all the contact appears to be MIL so I’d view it as if the money was being left to her, and she’s then choosing to split it between her sons.

I know that might not be what the will states, but I don’t think I’d want to get involved here. Either MIL does the right thing and gives it all as per will to your DH - and then she’ll pressure him to share. Or she doesn’t and somehow bypasses the will and shares it anyway.

One way or another your MIL will get her cut, I’m sure, so just don’t get involved and let it play out.

Different if it was a much-loved aunt or grandparent, but you and DH have no emotional investment in this.

I have just been dealing with a simple will. I am the executor. Probate has not been necessary, Banks etc have accepted the death certificate
Not all wills will appear on line.

If the will was in the folder of documents that the whole family have access to can’t you obtain it that way?

I think now is the time to be straight forward: “MIL, DD saw the will in the documents 9mths ago. Please forward me a copy”

If they have lost the will then they won't be able to do anything anyway. When my Dad died I had to produce a copy of the will for just about everything - for savings accounts etc. A solicitor had been named as executor but did very little actually

I really don't see how the woman's estate could be paid out to a couple of randoms ie. your DH and BIL unless that is what is stated in the will.
Also a random person can't just pop up and say they are executor of the estate!
TBH I'd not be getting involved here at all.

why would the lady leave money only to your dh and not the other brother?

Thank you everyone I do appreciate the different opinions. We are going to wait and see what happens. My BIL is a declared bankrupt so not sure whether that will make a difference to how things can move forward. He still has issues around getting a mortgage for instance (he can't) so I don't know if that impacts on anything.

The main reason why this lady decided to leave her my DH her estate is precisely because she didn't want it to either go to the Government or to a charity, this is what she told him on one of the few occasions he met her. She never met BIL at all.

Hi all thought I would come back to this. The will that my dd saw is unsigned. DH has not seen a copy of the signed will, no-one has and indeed he hasn't seen the unsigned will either. BIL is going to the lady's house to look. I have no idea if this is even legal, don't you need permission from someone to go into a dead person's house and go through their things? MIL is (deliberately I expect) not being clear on the legal and financial responsibilities she had concerning her friend. We are staying out of everything at the moment, my guess is that the will was never signed and so nobody will receive anything. And that's ok - the lady would have had the will signed if she had really wanted her money to go to DH.

So to all the people who said keep your distance, you were right. I think that things have the potential to become very nasty and DH and I have agreed that we don't want to be involved.

Is the unsigned will a copy? It often happens that the original signed version is kept at a solicitors or wherever and they just keep an unsigned copy.