Have you instigated a discussion on divorce and then changed your mind?

[Snoopbeef]

I wonder if you have ever started the ball rolling on a divorce and then realised that the pain and chaos is so much worse than toughing it out.

Do you think it's possible to ever come back from the brink and find a way forward or is it just doomed and you are only prolonging the inevitable split.

No. IME when a relationship is so bad that you decide you need to divorce, I don’t think there is any going back. The divorce process is tough, no doubt about it, but it’s about working towards a better and happier life so it’s worth enduring. It’s can be scary and upsetting during the process, but once it’s over you can start to rebuild your life - the life YOU want. 💐

I’m sure that someone will come along soon to tell you they were able to get back from the brink and of course it does happen but fundamentally if a relationship is so broken that divorce is instigated, it probably is the right thing to do. Assuming the decision to divorce wasn’t taken lightly.

Is it you doubting the decision to start the divorce OP, or your partner?

Yes, when my DD was 2. Was SO fed up of doing everything myself and DH not working or pulling his weight at home. He convinced me / I convinced myself he was depressed. 5 years later I finally divorced him. He didn’t change, I just dragged on until I could do it no more. Much happier now!