I really very much dislike my husband Monday to Friday. I literally can't stand being around him. He's a completely different person when he's at work. He will just work, work, work, slob on the sofa when he returns home and eat and pace around chaotically in the mornings for 5 days a week and the rest of his life doesn't exist. He pays absolutely no interest in me or the children, is difficult to enegage in conversation, appears to live in his work clothes from 7am-1am. He's tired and completely zoned out from family or couple life. He does make breakfast for DCs each morning and helps take them to wrap around care before school- he's physically with us but feels mentally, miles away.
He has to be reminded when it's his turn to cook and I have to request help from him around the house during the week. He puts DCs to bed but will daydream whilst they mess about or even just lie on DCs bed rather than be putting him to bed. He also spends an awful lot of time on his phone.
Come the weekends and school holidays, he's normal. He fuctions well- helps with the house and is switched on more. He's extremely hands on. Like a completely different person. I've lived with this now for 10 years and told myself for a long time that I could cope with this as it was "just" his work days that he behaved like this. But I can't anymore. This is the majority of our lives that I really dislike him.
He is an assistant headteacher in a secondary school. But, he became one 4 years ago and I can say that he behaved like this when he was just a classroom teacher too. He's like a teenage boy who has returned home from school and wants to be left alone to play games on his phone who slobs around in his school clothes and has to be reminded to get to bed at a reasonable time. This is the only way I can describe it.
I don't know what to do, because I like him much more at the weekends, but the mon-fri version of him is grating on me more than ever. He refuses to find a new job despite him hating it. I also work part-time so it's not like I'm at home all day, everyday to do everything during the week. He acts like an entitled teenager and I can imagine he's behaving the way he did when he was actually a school boy. It's as if his behaviour is deeply ingrained and habitual. I often think he'd be better in a grown-up world as opposed to a school.
He does take himself off on his motorbike for long days some weekends, along with nights in the pub and football matches which has caused some conflict in the past due to the amount of solo activities he wants to do, so I wouldn't say weekends are perfect. But they are better than Mon-Fri.
What do you think?