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Perspective please experienced OLDers

4 replies

Ytrigging · 23/05/2021 07:29

I am new to OLD. I signed up for several dating sites and matched with the same man on 2 of them about a month ago. I'm feeling frustrated with how things are going but I've never dated strangers before so I don't really know how it's supposed to progress. I think he acts as if he isn't interested in me between dates, but when we're together he seems very attentive and polite and he says all the right things. Experienced OLDers, please give me some perspective about this timeline.

Background: His profile says he is looking for a serious relationship and he wants children. We are both in our early 30s. He is from the USA and arrived here about 2 months ago.

Mid April: Matched on dating site 1, neither of us messaged the other.
End of April: Matched on dating site 2, I messaged him.
2nd May: Met up for a hike and socially distanced lunch.
7th May: Went out for dinner.
13th May: Went to a museum and lunch.
14th May: Spoke on the phone.
22nd May: We were supposed to meet but he messaged in the morning saying he might not come and he would confirm in the afternoon. I told him not to bother and cancelled it. He was extremely apologetic but I think he had double booked himself.

He has insisted on paying for our meals and drinks every time. We have hugged but not kissed. There has been virtually no contact between dates. He does not write me messages and when I write him messages he reads them and waits for hours before replying. He is still logging into his dating profiles but I do not know if he is going on dates with anyone else.

This isn't going anywhere, is it?

OP posts:
Oreo01 · 23/05/2021 07:43

My best guess would be you are one of the people he is dating. No contact between dates seems a bit odd for someone that has no children regardless of how busy he may be.

BelladiMamma · 23/05/2021 07:44

I'd post this in the OLD thread, you'll get plenty of supportive help over there 👉🏾

TheJackieWeaver · 23/05/2021 07:57

That doesn’t sound promising. Sorry. Five dates with no kissing and little contact kn between seems like ‘friend zone’ to me.

If you like him though, ask him. At least then you’ll know.

I tend to be quite up front: I meet people I’ve been chatting to as soon as I can, ask at the end of each date if they’d like to meet again, etc.

Good luck Flowers

seensome · 23/05/2021 09:38

It's not a good sign that he's cancelling dates or worse leave you not knowing if he's going, no kissing, no contact between dates, I wouldn't be putting much effort to keep it going quite honestly, keep your options open.

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