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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being unreasonable?

15 replies

kyberpass · 22/05/2021 18:47

My husband likes a drink and quite frequently flies off the handle for no reason and rips into me over nothing, and I mean nothing - could be something as simple as not knowing what takeaway I would like! Gets that bad that he punches the walls and destroys them and makes me feel like shite. I do absolutely everything for this man, he does nothing but lay on the sofa all day even when he comes home from work that’s all he does, doesn’t help around the house, I do all the cooking , all his DIY that he claims he’s going to do but leaves it for months (I don’t nag him to get it done because it would cause more problems). He’s lost his sex drive since he’s stopped taking coke and now I’m lucky if I get sex or attention once every two months! I love him but starting to despise him and I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. He’s currently going through a bit of a custody battle of which I have stood by his side and been supportive but he appears to be a narcissist , I do whatever I can to be there for him but it’s just not good enough. He’s really started to put on weight and if I’m honest I think if given the choice between eating or having sex he would rather eat! Is he libido dying because of his weight and worries or am I living with someone with a split personality? I know 110% he’s not cheating and I know he loves me and he has said he suffers from depression but that’s no excuse for the way I’m treated

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 22/05/2021 18:50

Wtaf does he bring positively to your life??

Mabelface · 22/05/2021 18:50

Get the fuck out of there before you suffer the same treatment as the walls, lovey. He's abusive, awful and tbh a cunt, and I don't ever use that word lightly.

Inthesameboatatmo · 22/05/2021 18:51

Ltb as soon as possible

Oomph · 22/05/2021 18:52

Run.

Do you have children?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/05/2021 18:54

Why are you and he together? What are you getting out of this relationship now?

Notaroadrunner · 22/05/2021 18:58

For god sake sake have a bit of self respect and leave him. He sounds vile.

Tambora · 22/05/2021 19:01

You are being totally reasonable in thinking that this isn't right, and that his behaviour is truly dreadful towards you.

He brings nothing positive to the relationship, does he?

What's your housing situation?

Hulmeert · 22/05/2021 19:05

Why are you helping this vile man in his custody battle? Does he really seem like the kind of person who should be raising children?

WineAcademy · 22/05/2021 19:06

What's to love here?

category12 · 22/05/2021 19:06

You're living in a domestic abuse situation and he is like a fucking leech.

He doesn't love you, you don't treat someone you love like that. He knows if he says sweet words to you, you'll stick around and take the role of emotional punchbag, maid and cheerleader. But that's not love, it's just mouthing the words.

Britania87 · 22/05/2021 19:07

He brings nothing to this relationship, I seem to pay for pretty much everything and do absolutely everything. He does nothing for me and nothing to make me feel valued or loved . I guess I’m here because part of me still hopes he will go back to the man I married and partially because his son needs a mother, neither of the boys parents are fit to look after him, both are self centred

PurpleDaisies · 22/05/2021 19:08

Why on earth are you still with him?

Notaroadrunner · 22/05/2021 20:08

@Britania87

He brings nothing to this relationship, I seem to pay for pretty much everything and do absolutely everything. He does nothing for me and nothing to make me feel valued or loved . I guess I’m here because part of me still hopes he will go back to the man I married and partially because his son needs a mother, neither of the boys parents are fit to look after him, both are self centred
Name change fail!

You're not their mother so don't stay for that reason and as for hoping he'll change forget about it. Just think you could be in a loving fulfilling relationship with someone who respects you. Get out asap, free yourself from this waste of space.

Unanananana · 22/05/2021 20:19

Why would you want to have sex with it? He sounds vile.

Pick up your self respect. No kids with him means no connection. God, woman, run!!

Rebelwithverysharpclaws · 23/05/2021 11:59

Cease polishing this revolting turd and find the decent man that you deserve.Flowers

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