Please stop me from texting him!

[Ablubberingmess]

Just had a very emotional 2 hour lunch with my long-term (2 years) partner.
Lovely guy, and a lot of love between us but I don't think he's 'the one'. Recently been a lot less fun and I am snappy and easily irritated with him, getting worse over last couple of months.
I bit the bullet and suggested we might not be forever. I had been planning this in my head and felt free and relieved when I thought about it, but now feel heartbroken instead.
So (because I was such a confused mess) I suggested we gave it a no contact break for a month. The idea being I'll miss him horribly and realise it was a big mistake or actually not miss him at all.
I made it very clear that he was more than within his rights to tell me to sod off! He said usually he would but he loves me so will respect what I want and keep his fingers crossed.
Less than 2 hours later and I want to message him to make it all okay, because I hate hurting anyone and miss him already, but I know this is just because my heart and emotions are in overdrive.
For full disclosure I am over 40 years of age, not the teenager I am sounding like!

You told him what you wanted and he said he will respect that.

You now need to respect him enough to stick with the plan.

Anything else is (perhaps unintentionally) you using him as a quick fix to stop you feeling guilty or sad, because you know that if you message him he is almost certain to reply.

So you need to be kind to him and yourself by sticking to the plan.

Otherwise this could go on for years! Your idea of a break is sensible and not the end of the world, so it's manageable and will give you clarity of thought.

Messaging him would be a dick move as you'd be doing a complete 180 on what you told him you needed earlier, which he has agreed to, and you would be entering headfucker territory.

If you were a mate of mine I would be saying don't be a dick, stick to the plan that you suggested. Don't keep him around to prop up your mood etc.

@youvegottenminuteslynn That is exactly what I needed to hear!

You would be EXTREMELY cruel to message him now and tell him it will all be OK unless in the last 2 hours you've had an absolute epiphany and realised to want to spend the rest of your life with him.

Don't play games with him. Go the month and review like planned. Anything else would be a total head fuck to him.

I hope it doesnt backfire on you and he decides he doesn’t want you anymore. Personally, I feel sorry for him

Personally if I was him - and I've been in his shoes - I'd have ended it there. Which is what I did when an ex partner suggested this. People who love each other don't mess about going nc to see how they feel or if they'll miss the other person. Which would indicate to me that you're possibly not in love with him, which is fine! But it would've been kinder to just end it rather than leave him wondering for a month.

@KurtWilde I agree. I think you're just dragging out the break up tbh while keeping your options open. If after 2 years, you're not sure if he's 'the one', he's not. End of.

J would delete his number. He must be gutted

Dauphinois that's how I felt with my ex said it. If he wasn't sure of me after 3 years then I don't think he ever would've been. He was quite annoyed actually, and he text me a few times saying he'd made a silly mistake and perhaps he had, but for me it was quite plainly over,

You've taken a risk already by saying this to him. He's taken it well. If you backtrack now, you'll look like a fool and like you are playing games. He may not take that so well.

Give it a week.