Dangerous or?

[dangermouse707]

I met a guy on a day out drinking the other day, we spoke for a while then he gave me his number. We’ve been texting a bit since and we’ve both made it pretty clear we’re not in the position for anything serious.

He’s asked me to go over to his tonight and stay over, and I’m really unsure. He’s making it pretty clear he just wants sex etc. It’s not the fact I want anything more - I’d be more than happy with a no strings, purely sexual arrangement. However I have only met this guy once, I don’t really know him, and he lives an hour away - is this really irresponsible/unsafe? I’m pretty on the fence about whether this would be really dumb or not. I know it’s usual to go for a pint etc first but I don’t think we’re even looking for dating etc

Just no.

I think you would have to be crazy to go to his home under these circumstances.

Very silly

You would be crazy to go. How confident is he that he asks a stranger to travel for an hour to shag him? You have no idea what he is like or whether you would be safe there. You don't even know if he would be good in bed or even throw you out afterwards. You don't know anything about him.

You'd be foolish and mental to do this. Please don't.

It's just not worth the risk, it's you in a stranger's home with the expectation of sex.

You don't know how he behaves at home, if you don't want to shag him, if you don't want to kiss him, what will he be like if you say no, what if he was to lock you in, what if he was to pressure you or frighten you?

You can have absolutely no idea of those things as you don't know him.

With online dating it's best in the early days with anyone to plan based on worst case scenario. So being home, alone, in the home of a man you don't know who is expecting sex is a no.

Do not put yourself at such risk and value your own self more because he certainly will not and indeed has not.

For Gods sake NO !!!!!!

You don't know him.

Safe place only to see him.
Again No.

You don't have to want anything serious to expect a little bit more than a "come round for a shag".

No when you met him you had been drinking, your perception of him would be different when sober, the phrase beer goggles comes to mind. Don't put yourself under pressure straight away, nothing wrong in casual but wouldn't it be nicer if he showed some interest in you as a person, bit of dating rather than straight to bed.

Nope I wouldn’t, especially with a stay over pre-arranged. A drink/meal/coffee would be better in case you need a way out.

Absolutely not. There's nothing wrong with a casual arrangement that's just about the sex but absolutely not with a total stranger an hour from home!

Not now I wouldn’t! Although in my younger years, I did!
Ask him to book a hotel and meet him half way. Also tell someone where you are going.

But surely a weirdo can pretend to be normal for a few dates anyway? I don’t know what the solution is though.

Solution is, if you want casual, find someone a bit nearer, minimal effort should be required. At least meet once more in public to chat and find out if you'd like him as a friend and share mutual respect.

Definitely dont go to his, you have no power there.

Nope, a friend of mine did this and was horrifically raped, sorry to be blunt OP but it can and does happen, please don't go.

Please please please do not put yourself in this position.

Still not great but a hotel of equal distance for the pair of you would be better. Meet in the hotel bar first, not the room. Still highly risky though

You cannot guarantee your safety. You cannot guarantee that he has your best interests at heart. You don't know what he fantasises about. You don't know if he has a violent past. You don't know if he has a few mates lined up after he has raped you. You just don't know.

Definitely risky. Something I have actually done myself. Luckily, I was ok and he was just a normal guy. You just never know.

Give someone his address and phone number etc and tell him you've done that. Take precautions x