My family and I are travelling to see the in-laws next week and we will stay there for 10 days (they live 5 hours away, we have 2 kids under 3). We haven't seen them in 15 months and they haven't met our son, their third grandchild, yet. So it's a long awaited visit and dates wise next week is when works for everyone. They are desperate for us to go over. Everyone has been vaccinated.
The drawback is that we'll be there in the run up to my MIL's first ever operation. It's not major, she's having gall stones removed, but she has always been a bit OTT about anyone's health so this is a bit of a big deal for her; and my DH is also making out like it's the world's biggest procedure. Anyway, I am very conscious about us being there in the lead up to her operation, whilst she goes in for it, and for two days afterwards. They are desperate for us to go over and are insisting we still go.
Ideally, of course, we would go later and stay for longer after she comes out but it's our eldest's birthday 3 days after the op and we need to be home for that as we have plans.
They are insistent we go about things when there like nothing is happening. I've said I'd like to do whatever I can to support her in the lead up to the op, and afterwards. That I'll cook up a batch of homemade meals so that she's sorted for a couple of weeks afterwards etc but she is (or they both are) absolutely INSISTENT we don't do anything. They're a bit OTT with this kind of thing. It's such a fine line between wanting to help out and be useful Vs being a pain in the ass to them because essentially they don't want anyone to interfere.
My question is what can I / should I do or be doing whilst were there to be helpful and considerate whilst not overbearing? If I go to the supermarket and just cook meals anyway is that a bit too much or will they genuinely actually appreciate it after we've left? It's so hard to know how much/how little to do! Is there anything else - other than a few batch cooked meals - that I could be doing?!