How to get my marriage back...

[rhuds]

My DH and I have been married for 8 years, we have a DS3 and I am 25 weeks pregnant with baby number 2.

We are happy enough, but the intimacy in our relationship seems to have literally disappeared. We kiss (peck quickly) probably 2 times a day - when he leaves to go to work, and when we go to sleep. I have a very low sex drive anyway, but of course during this pregnancy it has all by disappeared. My DH used to at least try it on a couple times a week, but now he barely touches me and he doesn't seem to even show much of an interest in the pregnancy (he does to an extent, but when I compare to when I was pregnant with our DS, it is much different).

It seems to have gotten to the point where we are just room mates - we barely speak to each other except small talk, very rarely do we cuddle (normally if I try and instigate cuddling he will come up with some excuse and say he is too hot/uncomfy/wants to just spread out/ etc) It has also affected our communication as I don't even feel like I can approach the topic as he will probably get defensive and tell me that I am being silly and of course he loves me etc. and it will probably lead to an evening of slightly more contact, but then the next day it will be back to the way it has been.

The fact that I feel like a fat hormonal blob doesn't help at all - as even though I crave the intimacy and the chat and laughter, I still am not sure I want the sex? I have zero confidence with my body at the moment, which seems to kill the mood for me.

Any advice? Sorry if this is something that seems trivial, I just feel like the 'love' in the marriage has flown the window and has been replaced with complacency and boredom.

I really do believe that marriages can be reignited and that relationships can improve, but it really does need both parties to desire it and be willing to do the work.

I've been with my OH for 40+ years and we had a very sticky patch when our children were small.....bored, never laughed, no romance or intimacy. But we both wanted to stay married so we did a marriage enrichment course that helped us work at communicating better and also reminded us of the spark we both shared. I guess couples counselling / therapy could do the same.

We're now late 50s and I'm so glad neither of us bailed. We have a great relationship and the marriage is stronger than ever.

I hope you find a way forward together.

@LittlePearl

I really do believe that marriages can be reignited and that relationships can improve, but it really does need both parties to desire it and be willing to do the work.

I've been with my OH for 40+ years and we had a very sticky patch when our children were small.....bored, never laughed, no romance or intimacy. But we both wanted to stay married so we did a marriage enrichment course that helped us work at communicating better and also reminded us of the spark we both shared. I guess couples counselling / therapy could do the same.

We're now late 50s and I'm so glad neither of us bailed. We have a great relationship and the marriage is stronger than ever.

I hope you find a way forward together.

Thanks for your response - we actually went through a bad patch of arguing a lot and not in a very nice way, so we had couples counselling last year for about 3 months and it has helped a lot in how we deal with conflict in a healthier way .. it is just this slump we seem to be in.

We don't really have much in common, no shared interests and such. So just daily chit chat is like pulling teeth quite often. I just wish we could have a coffee and just TALK like I could if I were at a friend's house having a catch up.

We have no interest in ending the marriage, and I do hope it is just a rutt we are stuck in that we can climb out of in the future.